I’m majoring in CS related-field, and I used to have tons of passion for it and underlying tech, and worked as full stack dev, but my mind was very different in a good way (better at logical/cognitive demanding tasks, creative, productive, etc). Things happened, and I just can’t stand living in society, experiencing all this materialistic world and feeling sick about it. I’m truly traumatized and I’ve been trying all available means to improve (so I’m not asking what rule 3 is against)… I can’t feel any passion for what I used to do… The meanings I gave for my life and hope are away. I don’t care anymore about digital world, industrialization, I just can’t. So my performance has suffered due to all this.

So, it can sound funny to read this, but I am considering living in a farm I have access to and do my own farming to eat, artesian well for water, constructing just a little home to live… I don’t exactly care about electricity. I would probably be happier just by burning some stuff to have light at night if needed and looking at the stars all alone until death.

What do you all think about this?

  • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I wanna pose this very kindly and politely because I know a lot of people are against it sadly but

    By the way you’re wording things it sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate right now and you’re losing your grip/stable footing and you should take that very seriously. Stopping a mental breakdown when it finally happens isn’t going to be possible on your own.

    There’s a few options for online if you’d prefer but therapy really isn’t that bad of an idea to try. It’s nice having someone you can get along with and be vulnerable with and have help you out with “shit that’s stuck in your teeth” as mine says.

    Some stuff is too tough and is way too bitter to chew on our own and this world is infinitely bigger than you and will swallow you whole if you don’t fight for a life you want.

    Stay healthy bro. Fight for yourself. We’re all rooting for your best health mentally and physically 💜

    Edit: reworded the beginning of paragraph 2, I’m not a psychologist nor do I have the training to be calling out “textbook antisocial behavior” considering how long it takes to go to school to become a psychiatrist/psychologist

    • Domille@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      wanting to be alone is not an anti-social behavior… aggression and wanting to hurt people is… which the op is not expressing. Don’t know where you got this “text book antisocial behavior” definition from.

      • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        While I disagree with you about this being antisocial behavior or at least the precursor, I’m not a psychologist so I should refrain from using language like this as it’s misleading as “fact” when it’s just lazy vocab usage.

        Appreciate the call out

    • PostmodernPythia@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Therapy? As someone who’s benefited from years of therapy, therapy isn’t supposed to end rational responses when the world’s gone mad. I’m afraid far too many people confuse therapy with magic.

      • Entropywins@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Even if the world goes to complete and total shit…I’m still gonna talk about it and process it with someone.

        • PostmodernPythia@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          That’s good and healthy. All I’m saying is that therapy won’t fix the problems underlying this. It can be useful in processing, but I’m tired of people acting like therapy will solve structural problems.

      • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Considering you know nothing about the severity of this situation or validity of the situation outside of OPs current head space and know fuck all about therapy apparently, just stop. You’re possibly hurting someone.

        • PostmodernPythia@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Clearly, you didn’t read my post. Hard to spend years in therapy and not know fuck-all about it. I never said don’t go to therapy. I said don’t expect miracles. Therapy is good, but it’s not a solution to structural issues.

          • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            You’re making that assumption though. You are assuming that it’s only structural and nothing else. There is 0 harm in talking with a therapist.

            I did read what you said, you just didn’t understand what I was getting at. I’ve got a feeling we’re on the same page here believe it or not

            • PostmodernPythia@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              You said I know “fuck all” about therapy after reading and comprehending a comment where I said I’d spent years in therapy, and I’m the one with a reading comprehension problem? Sure, buddy.

              • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                Going to therapy doesn’t necessarily mean you understand. Bring it up with you therapist.

                Show ‘em the post, what I said, and what you said with 0 changed and I bet we’d both stand to learn something from it.