As a kid though. Lunchables was the shit
Don’t forget to add a bit of lead for seasoning
Allegedly lead tastes sweet so…
Exactly. For seasoning
Let’s also add more and more sodium just to break some records.
You’ve got management written all over you with ideas like that.
And salt is pretty much free and makes the package feel heavier.
Salt wasn’t heavy enough so they also went with lead.
Pizza: When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. When it’s a Lunchable… admit it, you kept eating.
The lunchables seems like a dystopian food stuff created by a team of psychopaths.
What if we made all of the food crappy, added extra preservatives and maybe a little bit of lead?
The Romans added led to their drinks it must have been delicious or something! ~Kraft food scientists probably
At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if the meeting went like this:
“So, we sell these products by their weight, why don’t we add something heavy in there just to boost profits?”
More like “what if this cost $0.05 to produce and I sold it for $3.50”?
And full of lead.
The crazy part to me is that it’s specifically the Lunchables made for schools.
Really makes me feel like Sisco or Bon Appetit (industrial prison complex companies) are the ones producing the food, just like they do for prisons.
Inspired by ohio valley style pizza
Back in the day, lunchables were the cool kid food. That and kid cuisine. Now, lunchables seem like what dumpster juices would taste like.
My brother is 33 and still loves that crap
Alright, them there’s fighting words!
Cold pizza can be amazing!
Pizza it’s amazing, cold pizza is still a pizza, that makes it amazing, but is still an inferior kind of amazing that hot pizza.
Morning cold pizza that you can just eat straight out of the fridge is ambrosia. It’s like a third of your problems for the day have been solved.
No joke last night I went for a late night snack. I pulled out some hard salami, aged Swiss, and some nice crackers. I realized this bastard charcuterie was just a luxury Lunchables.
I disagree. Your hasty charcuterie was just that. And I bet it was delicious.
Lunchables, on the other hand, are the cheap charcuterie knockoff devised by people who lost their tastebuds decades ago to excessive chainsmoking and the kind of world-weary ennui specific to only the most misanthropic millionaires. Their lack of any sense of smell is only eclipsed by their tenuous grasp on what’s left of their zeal for life; a kind of self-hating spiral that not even the most debauchery-packed weekend in Vegas could ever hope to recover. No, these cretins are not people, they are the mere shadows, the faintest of pencil outlines of human beings. Lunchables are the best effort of these people attempting to emulate what they vaguely recall a meal actually is.
Whatever, fuck you, you’ll eat it
The idea is sound, make something easy to pick up for your kid for lunch. The execution isn’t so great. For how much they charge, an entrepreneur should get on this making actual good lunches that are healthy but kids will still want to eat.
I get the cheaper Armour brand ones, my kids like them better and they’re half the price.
Still not healthy though.
Even partially healthy would be an improvement.
