I have a job. I’d like to think I’m good at my job. I manage a team of developers, I provide requirements, I review their work, and we’ve had minimal incidents from the work we’ve done.
In the past I’ve struggled with prioritization, but we’ve recently moved to Jira and I’m trying to plan things out ahead of time and make sure everything is accounted for. I’ve been getting better.
It’s never good enough. My manager is telling me the work I do, the work that I like and that I’ve spent all this time getting good at, I need to start passing it down to my dev team because he wants to “uplevel” me more. This isn’t the first time, but I think this time I’m finally broken because I don’t know how much more I can “uplevel myself”.
Every time I think I’ve finally got a hang of my job, it’s suddenly not good enough, I’m suddenly overburdening myself with “lower level tasks” because I should be “upleveling myself”. I can’t just have a job and be good at it, anything I’ve accomplished last month is suddenly worthless this month, I have to constantly be striving for more. I have to constantly be improving or suddenly I’m no longer meeting expectations.
It’s draining. It’s exhausting. I just want to have a job and know my responsibilities and be good at them and not constantly be told I need to be doing more. I just want to be good enough. I’m so tired.