My partner complains about his friends all the time. He and his friends will complain about other friends behind their backs and so on. They argue a lot in person too. They’re all in their 40s and have been friends for 20 odd years; it’s just how they are.
But one of his most common phrases that I keep pulling him up on is “so and so is always chucking a tantrum/gossiping/causing drama like a teenage/school girl”
First and foremost, my partner went exclusively to single sex schools. He has never actually been present to observe these kinds of behaviors in school age/teenage girls (only dated a few when he was in late teens).
Secondly, I am a woman who went to coed schools, was a teenage girl, and still has female friends. We don’t complain about each other. We’re all busy and just enjoy each other’s company when we can. No drama, no fuss.
But the idea that women are exclusively bitchy, back stabbing and that this is an inherently female trait from our younger years is so prevalent in media depictions that it is my partner’s go to reference for poor/bratty behaviour. All while he and his grown up male friends exhibit those exact behaviours.
First and foremost, my partner went exclusively to single sex schools. He has never actually been present to observe these kinds of behaviors in school age/teenage girls (only dated a few when he was in late teens).
First and foremost, my partner went exclusively to single sex schools. He has never actually been present to observe these kinds of behaviors in school age/teenage girls (only dated a few when he was in late teens).
This is why I have almost no friends left from my time at an all boys boarding high school. Just say the most deranged stuff about women, even now that they’re in their mid 20s. Didn’t grow out if it at all.
I had a similar experience in college: most of the people I roomed with and went to class with were self described “South Park Republicans” and most went on to tech jobs which only coddled and amplified their dudebro “nonpolitical” misogyny.
I met up with some of them recently and it was just sad. I know people don’t change that much and shouldn’t be expected to, but these guys said the exact same stuff they did when they were 16, almost a decade later. No personal growth in almost a decade. Just sad.
Yeah he’s not friends with anyone from school. He’s an all round solid guy with a feminist mindset, but there are reflexive elements of language that I pull him up on occasionally. Australian bloke mindset “oh don’t be such a big girl’s blouse” passed down from the boomers is very toxic. He’s an elder millennial, I think the coming generations are better as this kind of language is less prevalent in their world. But that’s what he was exposed to and it shows occasionally.
What has incorrectly been attributed to the individual genders, should have instead been attributed to humanity as a whole. Bitchyness isn’t a woman thing, it’s a human thing, same as- being a dick isn’t a man thing, it’s a human thing.
My partner complains about his friends all the time. He and his friends will complain about other friends behind their backs and so on. They argue a lot in person too. They’re all in their 40s and have been friends for 20 odd years; it’s just how they are.
But one of his most common phrases that I keep pulling him up on is “so and so is always chucking a tantrum/gossiping/causing drama like a teenage/school girl”
First and foremost, my partner went exclusively to single sex schools. He has never actually been present to observe these kinds of behaviors in school age/teenage girls (only dated a few when he was in late teens).
Secondly, I am a woman who went to coed schools, was a teenage girl, and still has female friends. We don’t complain about each other. We’re all busy and just enjoy each other’s company when we can. No drama, no fuss.
But the idea that women are exclusively bitchy, back stabbing and that this is an inherently female trait from our younger years is so prevalent in media depictions that it is my partner’s go to reference for poor/bratty behaviour. All while he and his grown up male friends exhibit those exact behaviours.
Funny huh.
That’s not a surprise that’s a cause
This is why I have almost no friends left from my time at an all boys boarding high school. Just say the most deranged stuff about women, even now that they’re in their mid 20s. Didn’t grow out if it at all.
I had a similar experience in college: most of the people I roomed with and went to class with were self described “South Park Republicans” and most went on to tech jobs which only coddled and amplified their dudebro “nonpolitical” misogyny.
I met up with some of them recently and it was just sad. I know people don’t change that much and shouldn’t be expected to, but these guys said the exact same stuff they did when they were 16, almost a decade later. No personal growth in almost a decade. Just sad.
Yeah he’s not friends with anyone from school. He’s an all round solid guy with a feminist mindset, but there are reflexive elements of language that I pull him up on occasionally. Australian bloke mindset “oh don’t be such a big girl’s blouse” passed down from the boomers is very toxic. He’s an elder millennial, I think the coming generations are better as this kind of language is less prevalent in their world. But that’s what he was exposed to and it shows occasionally.
This is one of those things where I’d ask if you’ve brought it up with him, but holy shit I’m so tired of arguing with people all the time.
Did you read what I wrote?
I did but am also very groggy and skipping over bits and bobs. Sorry
What has incorrectly been attributed to the individual genders, should have instead been attributed to humanity as a whole. Bitchyness isn’t a woman thing, it’s a human thing, same as- being a dick isn’t a man thing, it’s a human thing.
Yep this goes for most of anything. Ignorant people speak in absolutes. Even more so when they’re not self reflecting at all.
Ironic
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I have to assume this is a troll account because it’s like incel bingo.
Gottem.
If it’s a bit I fail to get the joke, and their comments history doesn’t support that either
That’s concerning. His observance of women is likely from the bushes outside their bedroom windows.
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No, that’s solipsism. You’re ignoring everyone else in this thread, and in your offline life, in favor of your own self-pitying fantasies.
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And you clearly don’t. But you refuse to see that because you refuse to acknowledge anything but your own self-sabotaging beliefs.
And you clearly don’t. Again, you refuse to see that because you refuse to acknowledge anything but your own self-sabotaging beliefs.
Yet here you are, still, either seeking validation or indulging some sort of martyr complex.