Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I’m already obsessed. I haven’t had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it’s just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
You can even write your own OS from the ground up. Everything is possible with enough time and reverse engineering. But is it a good idea? Usually not.
Buy a gallon of acid and spend the next 30 years writing your own version of TempleOS