didn’t we all grow up needing to be secretive? is it because of the adage of how ‘everyone thinks women are hot’ so like even straight women would get turned on more by their own moaning?
like as a guy i don’t even…have the impulse to involve my voice in it at all
I always thought it was purely social conditioning, but I’ve got a theory that just popped in my head. I wonder if women need to be more vocal to communicate “Yes that’s good, keep doing that”? Like frankly my partner is often in charge of pace, depth, and even calling for position changes. I’m letting him know with my noises how good something is for me, If you should keep doing it, or if I get quiet he knows to try something different. I don’t mind him being quiet at all, until I’m on top and then I’m like I literally cannot tell if this is good for you. I have to ask out loud “is that good?” And then change something, “is that good?” After a blow-job I have to ask him, what parts did you like more than the other parts? Obviously I can tell he’s into it overall, but It’s really hard to know if a rhythm or amount of pressure is better than another if moaning doesn’t increase when you try something. Like he can absolutely tell when he hits a good spot when fingering me because my moans make it very obvious. I will straight say, “yes,” “please,” “right there,” “don’t move.” All kinds of stuff. It’s not just about making it hotter for the other person, it’s about communicating how good something is for you so they don’t have to do as much guessing
Trans woman here, and I can say from first hand experience that hormones change sexual response and desire. I’m guessing (and only guessing) that that is at least a part of the reason.
I know my own experience changed and i vocalise more, but even I can’t tell you why.
gonna agree with conditioning - we’ve been indoctrinated (by society) to behave in certain ways - like “men dont cry”, etc (they do). people acting in certain ways in certain situations is normal - and expected. we’ve been programmed to expect it and respond to it.
Because real men are silent and never express emotion. Especially in tender situations. Or so goes the meme.
I heard one hypothesis from evolutionary biology that it was a holdover from Paleolithic times. The woman’s noises were an invitation for the rest of the men in the tribe to join in. The shape and size of the human penis seemed designed to pump out previously deposited sperm. This being evidence of cave woman gang bangs. Granted, it might be a stretch to go from penis shape to the reason why women groan more, but it’s a possibility.
‘Cave women gangbangs’
You can tell the men who came up with this idea were getting off on it.
Right? What evidence?
“The evidence being that it makes my pants feel funny when I think about it.” - Some scientist, probably
I don’t know how I know the answer to this, and I’ll try to keep it brief and simplify something more complex than I can go into given I’m typing on my phone, but here goes:
This goes wayyyyyyy back into our past as human beings. Women largely vocalize more than men during sex as a way to signal to other males in the area that sex is happening and that they should join in. It’s encouragement for the male, but it goes deeper (heh) than that - the human penis is quite large as far as body to dick ratio for animals goes, and there are two reasons for that; the head is designed to ‘scoop’ competing males’ semen out with each thrust in preparation for replacing it with the dick-haver’s own, while the longer shaft allows deeper penetration in order to scoop as much as possible.
So basically, when a woman moans loudly, it’s signifying she’s ready to go, and that the strongest male in a group will be the one to eventually impregnate her. It’s literally a survival of the fittest mechanism.
Now obviously that isn’t the reason for it these days, as we’re all aware that our intelligence as a species makes sex a vastly more complex thing than it is for other animals at this point in our evolutionary path, but that’s what researchers believe is the origin of sexy female noises.
I hate this theory and I highly doubt any women were involved with developing it.
Do you think they were busy moaning or?
Porn has done it for dozens of years at this point, and it has just become not only an expectation, but just a thing that gets picked up.
I find myself trying to pay attention to how she responds.
It’s conditioning by porn.
In my experience, if you don’t make sounds as a woman during sex, the guy will become insecure, ask what’s wrong, straight out demand you make some sounds or even bring out stories about previous sexual encounters with other women.
Also, some men moan. I think it’s hot if it’s natural and not forced because a man’s voice can be a turn-on.
Well wayyy back in the day men knew they had to be quiet a lot since they were the ones out chasing food and hiding from tigers and shit. The females at the time would be in a safer area with the children. Maybe it’s survival instinct 😂
In case you are wondering about the downvotes: You are representing an extremely oversimplified and from what we know also wrong image of early humans. I suppose you meant to be funny, but this is something they probably teach at some schools and it is concerning.
@blahsay@lemmy.world is probably right about early conditioning for guys. But it can also change, and a lot of men are fairly vocal.
Dunno about anyone else, but I really don’t feel much besides an emotional connection until the O. My vocal involvement is brief.
I’m just here for the wont
Same reason dogs don’t bark when they chase the mail truck.
As a trans woman, I noticed it started happening fully unintentionally after HRT. It’s anecdotal, but makes me feel like there’s definitely a chemical component because it actually surprised me.
