Your life, physical and then professional were both threatened. The things you mentioned aren’t little oopsies. These are well beyond normal. You describe being assaulted and abused. Those aren’t suck it up and learn situations. That isn’t a regular kind of problem. You should seek trauma counseling.

I try to remember they can’t act that way towards everyone without it biting them in the ass eventually. Not to mention, people like that tend to be miserable already by nature. If they’re not in your life anymore the best thing to do is celebrate that fact every time you think of them.

There was a guy who threatened my life a few times though. Only guy I still truly hate after many years. I know he’s worse off than me now and it feels good. I wish I had a high road perspective to offer there but that just ain’t me

From “Verissimus”, a comic about the Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius: https://imgur.com/a/FlvGJGT (my apologies for the first two pages being out of order).

There is a section about the Greek philosopher, Epictetus’, teachings about anger. My favorite two are “Being unlike your enemies is the best form of revenge,” and “Goodwill is a virtue, the opposite of revenge, the desire to help rather than harm our fellow man. So replace your anger with its antidote: kindness.”

It’s quite rational for you to feel angry towards people who seemingly went out of their way to wrong you. One thing that helps me is contemplating the inner existence of that type of person. It must be awful to walk around without a teaspoon of empathy. To walk around disconnected from basic humanity. To find pleasure in hurting others. What a cold existence.

Experience all the emotions dude

You’re allowed to let those emotions flow through you. Yell and hit something inanimate if your mad. Cry if your sad. Let those thoughts come. And then let those emotions go

All those bad times were lessons you had to learn one way or another. Those lessons should hopefully help you never make those same mistakes or hang around those types of people. Life teaches the hard way unfortunately

But yeah, I used to repress my emotions cause that’s what a big football player is supposed to do. I had to be a rock and no matter what just bottle it all up. But I’ve been able to be a better rock for others by letting myself cry it out when I need to.

Lastly, I wouldn’t say I forgave all those who have wronged me. Nor have I forgotten. But I guess it’s like a really good song I just heard. The first dozen or so times I listen to it I’m completely focused and the song just sounds diffrent cause it’s fresh in my mind or whatever. But then I let the song play a bunch, maybe even twice in a row here and there cause I’m so focused on it. But then one day the song just isn’t a good for some reason. It’s kinda like that but with shitty situations.

Idk I’m not a therapist lol

Do you have a release for emotions period? Burn out the anger with a crazy workout and intense playlist. Write about it poetry style or otherwise. Buy a punching bag.

I had to do cognitive behavioral therapy to defeat cycles much like that. Fortunately, if you’re not in a position to have a professional help you with that, it can be self practiced. The biggest take away is allowing yourself time to process it, so it doesn’t occupy your mind when you’re trying to do something important like driving or sleeping. Write out the angry thoughts and reflect on them, why its impractical and how you’re putting yourself at risk for little to no gain. Match each negative thought with something positive if you can help it. Sure this person fucked you over, but you got to play a cool game with a buddy. They don’t need to be connected but try to force yourself to spend equal or greater time on good experiences as much as your mind is trying to drag you into the gutters. Regret is one of the more powerful emotions you’ll experience and you don’t need to cause yourself unnecessary burdens. If you feel you’re a risk to yourself or others, please seek out professional help. This isn’t medical advice, just myself reflecting on my own experiences. I’m told this service is pretty decent. https://www.betterhelp.com/

Vipassana meditation.

It gives you great control over your thoughts (among other things).

Dropping an idea becomes as simple as dropping a rock. Don’t like the rock that you’re holding in your hand? Then just drop it.

I got revenge for them having fucked with me. Unfortunately, once I calmed down I realized that as a result of my actions I had burned a bridge that in retrospect, I’d have rather not burned.

So now I try to think really hard about whether someone deserves the way I treat them.

Write a long thorough letter that you don’t send. It worked for me with a friend who was awful to me for a year. Beauty think about him anymore.

Revenge usually does the trick.