I would like to add a description (details), but it would be a very long text.
In short: I have depression, multiple chronic illnesses, C-PTSD, ADHD, no money to rent on my own, poor physical and mental health, some basic things I don’t have money for, I don’t have a computer and it seems that my laptop will soon broken…
I can’t go to a psychologist because… the quality of education and medicine in this country is terrible, and it’s dangerous to say “everything” here, my mother recently worked, but now she’s left without work and starts doing some kind of crap, she was the one who brought in the income until this time; she feeds me fast food. In this country everyone doesn’t give a sh*t about each other, I am surrounded by “broken” people, this is a country full of cynics, sociopaths, and narcissists (consider mentally ill… and genetically defective, apparently).
Like this…
…the army of my moronic country has killed thousands of Ukrainian civilians, foreign media have been writing for a whole year that this country wants to start a war with NATO in 2025.
I’m really sorry, I don’t know what to do… I constantly live in stress, anxiety, with a feeling of hopelessness, depression, I’m procrastinate a lot…
Normal people, in principle, do not live in this country, and my mother does not consider me to be a person, as, in principle, most ruSSians (these mad dogs) treat each other.
They do, it’s just that like you they’ve learnt to be careful about what they say, and to be selfish because they need to survive.
Or they once cared, but life ground them down, so they sought escape in alcohol or whatever. Obviously, this is by design. If people were open about being unhappy about their country, this would threaten the government. Not that this helps, but maybe it’ll help you feel less alone.
I can’t help you with work, but reading, tv, gaming and podcasts can be a great help when you don’t have access to mental health services.
Fiction allows you an escape from your daily reality. English language fiction allows you to learn the language Non-fiction allow you to work on your issues. Not as good as therapy, but better than nothing. If concentrating on long texts is a problem, try listening to audiobooks.
Eg. a good book about PTSD is The Body Keeps the Score.
Oh, and obviously get a VPN and pirate everything, even if it’s for your own safety.
The book you recommended is about PTSD, but not a C-PTSD, so I think if it’s make sense…