This hit me like a week ago. I straight up panicked. I still kinda am. I don’t know what to do. I’m fucking terrified. How do you learn how to be a girl in your forties? I don’t even know how to do makeup, every time I tried it looked like shit.

I thought I was a femboy. A kinky weird femboy with a supportive girlfriend that didn’t mind the occasional dressing up. This is probably way too much for her. I think it’s too much for me. But now that I know this I can’t not know it. It’s like my subconscious just came out of nowhere and was like, “Hey you know that quirky thing about you? Well it turns out that’s entirely you, and you’re miserable trying to deny it. By the way everything in your experience tells you that people will hate you for it, and the state is actively trying to harm people like you. Also crazy people will probably want to kill you about it Byeeeeeeee!”

What do?

Edit: Thanks everyone for all the helpful comments. All this is still big and scary right now, but I feel a little better about where I am now, and the first few steps. This is a good community here.

  • SoggyBread@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Chin up. My cousin went through the exact same thing and she’s been taking it well. She talked with her doctor started taking E and grew out her hair. A year later she had laser hair removal to remove hair from around her mouth and neck she was real happy about that.

    Not to say there werent downsides, her family was very accepting but her wife did want a divorce but they still remain close friends.

    I think one of the things that really helped her was to find a supportive community that can help you through this and let your girlfriend know if you havent already, fear of rejection is normal but telling her is necessary for relationship and friendship.

    Hope this helps. Im a cis-male but want to be supportive. Go get em

    • subverted_per@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      8 months ago

      I’ve talked to her. It was difficult to be coy about it the way it happened, and so far she’s been a big help. But we both know this is way above her pay grade.Unfortunately money’s tight, and getting a therapist isn’t in the cards short term.