Personality disorder characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, and egotistical traits Wikipedia

Seems you’re not since in this post you show empathy, remorse, and examining your flaws is anti-egotistical. Though you may think of not conforming to social norms as antisocial behavior, many people do this and put on a “public” facade.

Though, being “honest to a fault” is a little antisocial depending on how far you take that. Is it just “I never give a lie to a direct question.” Or: Do you always correct people who you know told a lie? Do you interject in stories where a lie has been told? Do you tell people unsolicited truths that are hurtful? Some would consider the latter list of behaviors to be antisocial.

It’s good to self-evaluate. I know I have some manipulative habits, I definitely lie too easily, sometimes without remorse, but I don’t fit a majority of the markers: I feel immense remorse at certain things, I’m not arrogant, I’m genuinely helpful, not just manipulatively so, etc. I would consider talking more in dept with your friends that want to cut ties or express frustration and hear out their concerns. We all have areas for self improvement, so don’t just yourself too harshly. Maybe as another commenter suggested, go to therapy and see what you can uncover.

Not to be an armchair psychologist over here (you should probably see a therapist) but it sounds more like autism, not psychopathy.

Surely asking random people on the Internet to diagnose you with a personality disorder is the best way to go about things…

Troll.

Well I wasn’t going to comment because I thought everyone here was going to say “you’re describing everyone we all feel that way” but I guess not haha

Everything you said in your original post is something I’ve said when describing myself to my SO or friends. I’ve been called condescending and I’ve worked very hard to not be that way. Sometimes when I start hanging out with someone new or get a new coworker I can tell by first impressions they aren’t going to like me. Nowadays I can usually turn it around but in the past I would just try not to bother them. People will say “why do you hate me?” and it will catch me off guard because I dont feel that way at all.

I’m also told I can be very argumentative. I get that less now as I am more aware of it, but people who know me know that I am passionate about my opinions.

I don’t have any advice besides thank people who give you feedback. Being yourself doesn’t mean not working on your social skills, they can be trained like anything else. I’ve definitely learned better habits, I have more and closer friends through years of work and introspection.

Also you are not a psychopath and there isn’t anything wrong with you. Most likely your social type isn’t the majority and you have to work a bit harder to gel with the mainstream. Its just something to be aware of. I often feel like my '“true self” is hidden from others, so I try to be as real as possible with my SO and my closest friends.

Sounds like the absolute worst version of imposter syndrome. You doubt everything you are and believe because you might have some sort of mental illness. Not knowing what that mental illness is you assume the worst possible one.

Oof. Don’t worry. You’re just who you are. All your accomplishments are real. All your values are valid. Anyone can feel gaslit, honestly memory itself is very shaky. For example tell me exactly what you did 12 days ago. Tell me what you had for lunch.

If it’s still bugging you just go talk to a therapist. Every person, mentally well or not should see a therapist at least once. There is no shame in exploring your pysche.

Just out of curiosity; When you say you always speak the truth, is that truth you speak always something negative?

No, brcause I’m a total doormat who always caters to everyone else’s needs before my own. Which is the opposite of a narcissist. I wish I could be. It seems more liberating than what I’m doing now.

Then again, what little self esteem I have is predicated on being able to cater to other people’s needs - even my job is customer support.

I’d flip to being a user in a heartbeat if only I could.

Yes. But then I remember I’m not smart enough to do that.

Psychopaths don’t unknowingly manipulate.

As people are saying, a true psychopath might not even question themselves. That said, it is probably a spectrum and we all may have such tendencies - and I mean like 100% of the population, as a shared human condition, to lie somewhere on that spectrum. It seems a good thing to me to examine myself in that manner and maybe dial down, or perhaps even dial up, those things. Especially when others misuse the words, twisting them to suit their own perspectives - e.g. calling someone “unstable” if they want to escape them, the abuser.

Also there are generational differences, and even generational (and other) traps - e.g. a lot of older MAGA parents in the midwestern USA have been abandoned by their children, who want to do things like “take the vaccine” (which I chose to highlight the discussion since it is a decision involving fully literal life-and-death consequences, plus also likelihood of permanent brain damage, which is what we now know long-covid to be), so in such cases is it truly the children who are being “unstable” and “aggressive” to leave, or rather the fault of the parents who attempt to force their christofacist belief structures onto their children, leaving no room in the latter to have their own thoughts or desires?

These are complex, weighty matters, and won’t be resolved quickly, but are good to think about regardless.

Everyone manipulates everyone around them unknowingly all the time. Even altruistic behavior exists partly because it makes other people think good things about you.

Only if you’d stop all human contact would you stop that. We’re built to want things (mostly sex+resources) from other people, and we’re equipped to get it.

We also all have “dark” (“psychopathic”) thoughts & behaviors that we’re hiding, not only from others but also ourselves. Some people embrace them more than others, some people resist them more than others.

I can suggest The Moral Animal for deeper understanding.

I’ve had similar concerns about myself. I’ve started therapy and found out that I’m suffering from toxic shame - something originating in childhood, developing as you age, and comprehensively modifying behavior in adulthood to include masking, dissociation, lack of emotional connection, inhumanly strong moral guidelines/standards, etc. I’d suggest at least looking up the concept of toxic shame. Also, give yourself some credit and some love; whatever the cause, it’s almost certain that your behavioral patterns were set by forces outside of your control and it sounds like you’ve managed it well

I choose to handle this by not interacting with people.

With a name like Thorny_Insight, I imagine you’ve already accepted and internalized the possibility that your internally critical mindset is equally external. This doesn’t make you evil, it doesn’t make you awful to be around, it just means that you have embraced the personality that you currently question, even if it isn’t who you truly are.

The world is becoming a very different place and the personality you have is one which is constantly questioned by people that think what is good is conformity and acceptance of anything and everything. There is no reason you need to conform or accept everything at face value.