You know this is an Onion article because the real frontrunner for the role of James Bond is going to be, like every other role, esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie.
See, I was gonna say Chris Pratt. He seems to be everywhere recently…
It’s-a me, James Bond.
It’s-a Bond. James-a Bond.
💁♀️💁♀️7️⃣
You know at first I thought this account was a joke, but it’s been months and it’s still going on. Honestly I’m convinced
it’s really her !
Seriously though, there’s a potentially great reboot opportunity there…
It would have to be very intelligently written to avoid the “reboot with women protagonist” clichés/pitfalls, the fact that 007 is a woman would have to strike just the right tone… misogyny would probably need to be faced with a good dose of “ok boomer” smirking, it would absolutely have to pass the Bechdel test…
But yea, that would be the first James Bond I’d go see in 2 decades, esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie.
That would be the first Bond movie I watch.
Maybe they just ain’t your thing but Casino Royale is really fucking good
Is Margot Robbie in it?
No but it has Eva green…
The people have spoken, so give the people what they want.
And, if the villain were played by esteemed character actress Margot Martindale…
It’ll never happen, because they’d just have to pack up the Academy of Motion Pictures and go home, because it’d be all downhill after that film.
Margopratt Reynolds.
Lose the Pratt and I’m in
The ultimate spy is the one you’d never expect.
007: The Spy You Didn’t Expect
007 The Inconceivable Agent
No one would expect a person who announces their full name everywhere they go to be a spy!
So I clearly can’t choose the wine in front of me!
However, iocaine, like esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress and fugitive from the law Margot Robbie, comes from Australia. As everyone knows, Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So, I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
I would get behind this.
The article title names three persons who I do not know. Considering I am unfamiliar with these persons or their names, should I be interested at all in this article?
Wallace Shawn is based
After seeing his performance in My Dinner with Andre (1981), casting director Janet Hirshenson was so fond of his delivery of the word “inconceivable” that she cast him as Vizzini in The Princess Bride (1987).
dude got the job because of that line. no wonder its iconic
That movie is also why she cast André the Giant as his sidekick after falling victim to one of the classic blunders.
I would so watch a good parody bond film but Hollywood would never make this.
A creative casting for a roll of a traditionally beautiful person.
Do you know how many watch ads and car commercials they would miss out on.
No, the next bond will be filmed like the latest marvel garbage. So evenly lit that you’d think it was a commercial with how clean it looks.
I would so watch a good parody bond film but Hollywood would never make this.
You mean like Get Smart, or Johnny English, or Top Secret, or the David Niven Casino Royale, or Spy, or Spy Hard, or The Man Who Knew Too Little, or True Lies, or Leonard Part 6, or I Spy, or Spies Like Us, or Spy Dad, or The Spy Next Door, or The Spy Who Dumped Me, or The Brothers Grimsby, or S*P*Y*S, or Code Name: The Cleaner, or Austin Powers?
Hollywood fucking loves making parody James Bond films, and some of them are occasionally good.
Yeah they sure like to beat dead horses.
Austin Power, Johnny English and Get Smart would fall under good enough to watch.
The rest is studio executives wanting some of that cake.
Top Secret is Val Kilmer’s best film. Fight me.
It’s Tombstone and you know it!
Tombstone would be better with more skeet surfing.
a good parody bond film
Hey, at least we have Austin Powers!
Oh gosh. Freaking classics.
Imagine if they made those today. Like not another remake or sequel but like actually made them nowadays. Or Wayne’s World?
I just don’t see it happening without it falling completely flat due to executives being tone deaf shills.
That whole part about mocking the paid ads would just be a paid advertising segment.
Austin Powers was such a successful parody it’s the REASON they rebooted the Bondiverse with Daniel Craig as a more grounded Bond, and IMO <insert Professor Hulk absolute win gif here>.
I forget the name of it, but didn’t Steve Carell also play a parody of a spy?
Oh yeah, it was a remake of something, if I remember right. I know I saw it, but I don’t remember thinking it was very good.
Get Smart
It was Get Smart, a remake of a Mel Brooks TV series from the 60s.
Also, this is the moment that I realized we’re closer to the 2060s than the 1960s.
I dunno what happens to actors when they play James Bond, but they tend to physically fall apart afterwards. Daniel Craig somehow looks like he’s 80 now
Casino Royale was 17 years ago and he was already almost 40 then.
Oh, and we could have an X-men crossover with Danny DiVito as Wolverine.
inconceivable!
Inconceivable!
Inconceivable!
No, it’s INCONTHEEVABLE! Get it right!
Inconvenience
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
Inconsolable?
A quantum of inconsolable!
He’s got my vote.
c/nottheonion, surely?
Maybe they’re testing the waters as a joke first.
…unless?
If it were a couple decades ago I would’ve believed it, but Wallace Shawn is literally 80 years old.