• exocrinous@startrek.website
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    3 months ago

    What the everliving fuck. Of course I ask all my partners to give consent before I add someone new to my polycule. Every single time. Do you add new people to your polycule without consulting your partners just because they’re polyamorous? That’s cheating.

    I don’t have to “tell” my partners I’m poly, because I don’t cheat. If you think you can just tell your partners you’re poly and then date whoever you want, you’re wrong and that’s a dangerous belief. Please never tell anyone else that polyamoury works like that, because it doesn’t. I’ve had to educate far too many partners who thought like you and would have cheated on me if I hadn’t been careful to establish explicit boundaries.

    • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      3 months ago

      Congrats on completely avoiding the point I was making. You’re outright telling someone you’re poly, because you know the expectation is that you’re not, because it isn’t the norm.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        3 months ago

        Decent point, but I also think it’s good to explicitly discuss monogamy as well. Even if you don’t use that word but only say “are we in a relationship”, it’s good to define the moment when the exclusivity begins.

        For example I’ve had one date with a woman, and she was busy on my second attempt. I’d love to see her again but I’m unsure whether I will. Would I be a cheater if I went on a date with another woman right now?

      • exocrinous@startrek.website
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        No, I’ve actually only ever had two partners who were monoamorous by default. The first two. Everyone afterwards immediately knew I was poly without having to be told. And was poly too. I mean I would have asked them to consent to being metamours with all my existing partners anyway so definitely no cheating since you brought that weird point up. But if you’re now deciding the point is people’s assumptions, everyone I know assumes people are poly. If someone in my circles is monoam they actually have it listed in their bio so everyone knows not to flirt with them.

        Sounds like I just have gayer friends than you do and you’re assuming everyone is like your boring friends.

        Do you even have any otherkin friends?

        • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          3 months ago

          Everyone afterwards immediately knew I was poly without having to be told.

          I guess you’re all mind readers huh?

          If someone in my circles is monoam they actually have it listed in their bio

          Why would they do that?

          Sounds like I just have gayer friends than you do and you’re assuming everyone is like your boring friends.

          The fuck does that even mean?

          Do you even have any otherkin friends?

          Do you even do therapy? Jesus fuck. You’ve gotta be trolling.

          • exocrinous@startrek.website
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            3 months ago

            If all your friends are human, that explains why your social norms are so boring. You should get to know people who are different than you. Otherwise you might turn into the kind of asshole who thinks every identity you don’t have experience with is fake. You don’t want to be like that, do you?

              • exocrinous@startrek.website
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                0
                ·
                3 months ago

                What a horrible existence you lead. Denying that people different than you exist. Seeing imagined conspiracies rather than accept new knowledge. Living, breathing, even wanting and enforcing such dreadful conformity. Such ignorance. You’ve seen the joys of a diverse world of love and freedom and you told it to fuck off. If my life were as dull as yours, I’d kill myself. But you want it that way. The only possible explanation I can think of for such aberrant behaviour is that your mind is as much smaller than mine as your world is. There are others of your species who were explorers. They climbed mountains and crossed oceans. They peered into the distant past and they landed on the moon. But you’re not of their kin. You want a small world. You don’t dream of meeting other species like the humans who love their Star Trek and their isekais. You heard of otherkin, and denied their existence. You don’t want it to be real. You’ve heard of queer people with an existence queerer than you have yet known, and you chose erasure. To you, entire lives, loves, ways of being are a joke. You refuse to see it otherwise. You aren’t gripped by the spirit of exploration, you don’t want to meet these people, to see the truth with your own eyes, not even to deny it. The idea of putting in the effort to learn anything, whether it be that this larger world is true or false, is repugnant to you. You want to already know the answer, and you want it to be the boring one. I could introduce you to dragons, to gods, to wolves, and stranger wonders still, but you don’t care. You don’t even pull out your search engine and google it. Not even that small effort of exploration. You want a tiny world. How small you must be.

                • Hathaway@lemmy.zip
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  0
                  ·
                  3 months ago

                  Are you okay mate? This is not the diction of a stable person. Gotta be a troll.

                  I could introduce you to dragons, to gods, to wolves, and stranger wonders still, but you don’t care.

                  For sure homie.

                  Some sort of god complex? Get help.

                  Or, a 10/10 troll. Unsure.