You must log in or register to comment.
I have received messages from angry men
Does she actually say how many? Two is “men”
Just curious how few she’s basing her opinion of all men on.
I think the word is “misandry”, no?
I can’t take anyone seriously that cries about “misandry.”
Two men is two more than the bears that wrote in, so it’s a gamble that bears are less likely to cause her harm.
Anyhow, she doesn’t generalize it to all men, so my brother why are you picking up a hat that doesn’t suit you? That’s sort of her goal, she’s being inflammatory so that the angry responses can prove her right.
If she wants to go poke at bears in a forest, then god speed and I hope she takes a rifle. I’ll stay home chilling and watching netflix.
That’s sort of her goal, she’s being inflammatory so that the angry responses can prove her right.
So you fully acknowledge thats shes just being a troll?
I literally spelled out the definition of troll. Was that too many words?
Proving a point isn’t trolling.
… but being purposefully inflammatory is basically the definition of trolling.
Op eds are purposefully inflammatory all the time and have been for decades. Did op eds invent trolling? Here’s a few I found:
I mean, kinda yeah?
Okay, then you have nothing to complain about since this is normal in media outlets.
and who says trolling cant prove a point?
So…if I say something deliberately misogynistic, and then say it’s ok I only said it to prove I was right, that’s ok?
:(
I don’t think the point is that it’s ok. More like “don’t feed the troll”, as there isn’t a real conversation to be had with someone looking to cause drama.
Yeah, totally! Just like when 4Chan cites FBI crime statistics
She is 100% generalizing all men my guy
Pretty much all points from all parties in this thread just reinforce my ever growing refusal to leave the house or interact with anybody unless absolutely necessary.
Eventually, I’ll probably be the strange man in the woods because that’s as far away from people as I can get. Should we meet at that time, then by all means, I encourage you, regardless of gender, to move along and go get you some bear love.
Yeah…honestly I’d also prefer the bear.
We don’t have bears here, only lions…
Soo many people in the tread showing their true colours.
i mean, to be clear, you don’t post some shit like that without expecting to piss off some less than favorable people. I would certainly know about that.
Sometimes a little bait is a good bit of fun.
I just want to know how many bears she knows on a a personal level to make it possible for there to be a “strange bear”.
How are you a bot?
you can choose to be one in your profile settings
But you shouldn’t if you aren’t a bot. People filter them out.
I had no idea this was set in my profile! - I’ll have a look
Here’s the setting in Jerboa for reference. ♥️ If anyone has “show bot accounts” off they won’t see you.
No idea how I ticked it or why - explains why I could never up-vote anything.
Thanks, TIL
Posts bait. Catches idiots. Stays relevant.
Words to live by
The question is loaded, see, because men can be bears, but bears cannot be men.
Yes, I know the question is about actual bears, leave my terrible, repeated joke alone
Yes keep fighting on twitter while the ruling class take away your rights.
How do people have the energy for all this
Imagine the stupid Pence Rule (never be alone with a woman who isn’t your wife). And framing it as you’d rather be alone with a velociraptor than a strange woman because a velociraptor is less likely to falsely accuse you of something.
I get that the point of the joke is that women think men are dangerous, but any nuance or discussion is completely out the window due to either how stupid, and inflammatory it is
I would also like to add, actually educating people about average bear behaviour would help.
Most bears will flee if given a choice, and are very unlikely to attack. Globally, there’s only around 40 bear attacks a year, and less than 5% are deadly. A lot of how they react is driven by how the encounter starts, if you’re within 60m before it notices you, you’re significantly more likely to be attacked.
Meaning that seeing a bear from a distance off is basically always just going to be neat and maybe a nice photo.
They are huge dangerous creatures, but so are people, and they’d rather not take the risk.
Knowing that makes the argument a bit more reasonable than just pointing out how bad/unpredictable men are
Bear-havior.
Puns away, I take my kids hiking from time to time and the conversation of bears comes up naturally (I bring it up), and I try to tell them about what to do, what to look for, this and that. It’s almost like literally everything else, education is a key to understanding.
And bears, for all intents and purposes, are robots, they tend to do what bears do. Now people, on the other hand, they’re a mystery.
tending to do something is not being a robot, a robot does what it is programmed to do, theres no might in that equation.
there is no IF DISTANCE > 60m DO NOT CHARGE or IF CHILD(WITH[BERRIES]) (EAT)
Maybe it’s because i’m a man, but this trend saddens me. I don’t often see what the other gender thinks of us, but the fact that a big part of us are a bother that all off us should be seen as more dangerous than a bear. Damn…
It’s because casual misandry is socially acceptable.
Well no, the real root cause is a lot of women are afraid of creepy men. Your point is tertiary at best is people are actually picking the bear.
perfectly balanced, as all things should be, which is a really fucking weird statement, considering that most thing should not be balanced, but then again, maybe the state of non balance is the equivalent to balanced. Which would then equate everything to be perfectly balanced at all times on account of the self balancing dichotomy.
(for those wondering, the comment im replying to has 5 upvotes, and 5 downvotes, and same for the one reply to this comment, at the time of writing at least.)
You’re missing the definition of root cause-why are women afraid of creepy men?
But that wasn’t the question.
Not entirely. It’s also because men have historically been bad about telling creepy and misogynistic men to back off and shut the fuck up.
I would sooner see men step up and call out the bad actors – and I say that as a man who’s done so. Don’t teach your daughters that they need to be wary about what they wear, teach your sons to respect and not rape women.
I would sooner see men step up and call out the bad actors
And I would be happy to join you in doing this, but this is not the company I keep. In my life I can barely count the number of times I have, or could have, on one hand. Meanwhile, when talking to women about this sort of thing, everyone has awful stories but they all involve people that simply are not a part of their social sphere (and by extension mine) anymore.
I fear that we, as a society, have done such a good job of pushing bad actors out to the margins that we no longer have eyes on the problem.
It’s not even just that they’re at the margins, it’s also a math problem. One bad actor can sexually harass hundreds, perhaps even thousands of women over the course of many years. Now make that thousands of men, and see how it’s very reasonable that 1 in 2 women or whatever it is have been sexually harassed or assaulted - and that can still be less than 1% of the male population doing it. Anyone who doubts women get harassed or even assaulted often needs to have their head examined. There is a guy in my neighborhood currently who has not been caught who is following women while in his car. The neighborhood listservs are awash with women who have noticed this guy. There was another guy who was groping women on the trail who affected multiple women before they caught him.
And this is not just sex crimes. Recently, they arrested a group of car thieves/car jackers in my area. The four of them were responsible for over two hundred car thefts, and possibly up to three hundred additional unaccounted for crimes. And that’s for a very visible crime like stealing a car - imagine the numbers for something like groping someone on a crowded train or bus.
This is why people who say stuff like, “just teach men not to rape” are as insane as saying “just teach minorities not to steal cars”. It is a tiny portion of the population having an outsized influence because they can harm multiple people. When you start blaming a group for the actions of a tiny portion of that group, you’re just lost.
I mean sure, call out crime in general when you see it, but I have seen this type of harassment probably a dozen times in my life. And it happens all around, dozens of times a day.
This is also the same kind of unintuitive math that makes it likely that your friends will be more popular than you… because popular friends are more likely to know you than unpopular friends.
Your neighborhood has a listserv? I haven’t seen one in ages.
You know I didn’t think about it like this. It does make sense though. I think as well it’s good to point out that the main recipients of violence and murder are other men, not women. Therefore I am suspicious when women talk about these things and being afraid but men don’t. It seems like a double standard.
Part of the problem is that men are simply not on alert for bad behavior. They have the luxury of being unaware. When my friend’s dad groped me at a party, I was in a conversation circle with him and 3 of my male friends. None of them noticed him doing it, none of them noticed me going stiff and pale. None of them questioned why I suddenly felt sick and immediately called an Uber to leave.
The dad felt totally comfortable to do that literally less than 2 feet from three other men because you guys aren’t looking out for it in a way that women are. Alternatively, I’ve had stranger women come up to me in public to ask me if I’m uncomfortable because a guy at a gas station is talking to me while I pump my gas. We’re looking out for each other.
“We all a society” have absolutely not pushed out bad actors. If anything, women have closed ranks, but in my experience the men have not, without explicit instruction, called out bad behavior.
This is not the good thing you think it is. Women shouldn’t be hyper-alert about all men, and should use words when being made uncomfortable (or literally sexually assaulted).
If I see a woman go pale and then leave a party, I will assume “oof, must have really had to poop”. I refuse to assume every facial tick on a woman is a sign of sexual assault. That’s a toxic, paranoid way to live.
I agree that women shouldn’t have to be hyper alert, but with our culture the way it is, we have to be to keep ourselves safe.
How about instead of saying I should have spoken up about a man groping me, you say, “he shouldn’t have groped you.” There’s no reason my friend’s old married father should have thought I would be comfortable with his hands on me in a bathing suit area.
I’m saying men with opinions like yours put the entire onus of safety solely on women’s shoulders forcing us to live that toxic paranoid way, as you put it. If you guys would start doing your part to police one another, women wouldn’t have to be so scared all the time.
What makes you think me speaking up would have stopped that man? He clearly had no respect for my personal space, my autonomy, or my comfort. He has already proven he is willing to break social rules and norms. The safest thing for me to do was get away, because confronting a person who does not respect or care about you, who is not bound by the social contract will more likely lead to them hurting you.
How about instead of saying I should have spoken up about a man groping me, you say, “he shouldn’t have groped you.”
How about both? It’s infantilizing for you to suggest I don’t understand a basic principle like “assault is bad”. Of course he shouldn’t have groped you. That was bad. That’s just a baseline, floor-level understanding that we should both agree on.
If you guys would start doing your part to police one another
Well, for one thing, we don’t know which guys are doing this. Even if, as you suggest, the burden should fall solely on men to stop other men (a bit of a problematic viewpoint in itself), we can’t stop it if we don’t know it’s happening. Guys don’t brag to each other about sexual assault. We just don’t talk about sex in general. “Locker room talk” is and always has been a myth. Women talk with each other. Men don’t.
We cannot read your mind and know that any particular guy has done anything bad to you. You have to say something. And if you don’t, the only other option is for everyone to constantly be asking every woman if they’re being assaulted. Like that old Verizon commercial: “are you being assaulted now? Are you being assaulted now?” which is just toxic and awful and paranoid and massively damaging to everyone’s mental health.
I can 100% understand just not wanting to deal with it. Running away and then never speaking about it, and avoiding that guy for the rest of your life is much easier than opening a can of worms.
But if you do that, you have to take responsibility for doing that. Don’t pretend “not my problem, Men should be fixing everything”.
Men expect you to communicate if you have an issue, that is how we communicate. We’re busy looking for the next tough guy, suckerpuncher, or knife-wielding psycho because those are the kinds of scars we bear. We’re not going to be looking at subtle changes in the color of your skin in a dark bar.
Thank you for this insight. We all really need more of this kind of dialogue to build awareness around what to look for.
That’s a really good point. The men who could call out this behavior are usually in exclusive circles from the bad actors.
As I think about it, I really haven’t had many opportunities either. There’s only one that really stands out to me, and it’s when I was out with some friends drinking and we were getting some food to end the night. A stranger was moving to grope a friend of mine, and I shut that down quickly.
But that’s it. This is actually a bit of a difficult question. How exactly do we chastise the bad actors? Maybe the best we can do is teach the next generation, and just call it out when we do see it.
Men in real life (in my experience) are mostly lovely folks. Men in places like Lemmy and Reddit can be pretty decent too, depending on the thread. But honestly, at what point has it been ‘safe’ to self identify as a woman on the wider Internet? Like to have a female voice in a game chat? Or in a random chat room? Between a lot of online harassment (which only needs a small slice of men participating in to be felt much more broadly) and the political and cultural attempts to strip women of power, I get this kind of outlook happening. It just really fucking sucks.
Please keep in mind that this is one columnist writing clickbait, not the entirety of women.
It’s sad how many women respond to it though.
Female Andrew Tates. Just gross.
You’re seriously drawing a parallel between women who try to avoid danger and a man who perpetuates it?
That this thought crossed your mind is a manifestation of privilege.
Yeah. Misandry, misogyny. Both are disgusting.
This is like saying a buddy who doesn’t want to hang out with you is the same as one who shoots and kills you. Neither activity is great, but there isn’t really a similarity.
They’re identical ideologies, in your analogy the only difference is that one has a gun and the other doesn’t. Both are happy to shoot, one just doesn’t have to power to.
Both are disgusting and I want no part of either.
If you think they are identical ideologies, you have much bigger issues than avoiding people who don’t like you.
disclaimer - i haven’t read the article/opinion. anyway, if someone said this to me, i think i would understand what is really being communicated, which is something like “i don’t trust men i don’t know, men i don’t know feel very unsafe to me.” i don’t think i would get hung up taking the statement literally. my thinking would be something like, “why do men seem so unsafe to you?” (knowing the answer is likely based in experience or observation of some kind), rather than “what kind of bear?”
Of all the problems lemmy has with taking too many things literally, and seriously like 80% of you people are on the spectrum…of all the fucking times I’ve had to explain how analogies work, now, finally, this one time where it makes sense to take a question literally, you guys go “nah, let’s pretend they asked an entirely different question”.
Just…whatever your instincts are, do the opposite. If it seems literal to you, it’s a metaphor. If you think it’s a metaphor or abstraction, assume it’s literal.
Using the spectrum as an insult. You’re so cool. As someone who is on the spectrum? Go fuck yourself.
Have you thought that maybe you aren’t very good at analogies? Ableist.
Found one
Good analogies are like good chocolate: explaining often ruins the experience.
I wanna see the strange bear, and I don’t wanna see a strange man, so the choice is fairly easy
I read her post some days ago and thought “she got some kinky humor”.
Now I think “She has no humor at all and was dead serious”.
Irony on the public side of internet died with Gamergate. It’s all been downhill since then.
I still wonder what kind of bear it would be. A Koala or Sun Bear would be OK I guess.
