No balls, you won’t do it!
Great.
Ditch him along with his stupid truck and maybe the company will be appealing again.
does another bump of ketamine
“Wait, I’m staying.”
does another
“Nah. I’m gone.”
does another
Will I stay or will I go now?
If I go there will be trouble (for Musk)
And if I stay it will be double (for Tesla)
I always pictured him drinking Grime’s piss to get high.
Why does ketamine have to be catching strays just because this one douchebag uses it
Because it’s what gives Wish Version Iron Man his power.
“Yeaaaah I’m gone”
passes out, shits himself
Let the loser leave. His smug smog smeg pollutes the air out here enough
Do eeeeet!
If all he does is leave, that will be fantastic. More likely he’ll just cripple the company in his rage. That’s the real reason a lot will vote to pay him.
I might actually consider buying a Tesla at that point. The SO and I nixed the car as an option purely because of that guy.
Model Y is the best car I’ve ever had. I suppose in spite of, not thanks to the ketamine man. Probably not my next car if Tesla doesn’t do something smart about Musk.
2 years ago I was certain a long range Model 3 would be our family’s first electric vehicle. I am now certain that a Rivian R2 will be that vehicle instead. As long as Musk is in the pipeline, making terrible decisions I have no interest in Tesla.
If he left, the stock would bounce up 20%. Put an engineer at the head and start producing decent model 3, Y. Work on reaching 25k MSRP. I’m sure there’s bottlenecks and inefficiencies that could get them there.
Tesla stock is worth more than most other car companies combined. Musk’s genius is knowing how to pump stock. The company would do much better without Musk, but the stock would tank. No one else is willing to lie, cheat and sacrifice safety like Musk to keep the stock high.
I can certainly see that argument, but I’d counter that eventually the Musk bubble will pop and that day is coming like a freight train. Better to ditch him now while they can than suffer the cost of keeping him.
Shareholders don’t actually care about long term viability as long as they can sell before everything goes to shit.
Tesla is in the sp500. Investors in that area tend to want long term results. It’s sold on the basis that you stick your money there and ride it for the next 20-30 years.
I agree, the stock will tank eventually. I just think it would be immediate if Musk left.
Better than spending 56b to put it off temporarily.
genius
Yeah I don’t care how good you are at “pumping up a stock.” That’s not genius.
Cunning? Sure. Savvy? Ok. Clever? Eh fine.
Genius? Lol fuck off
They could also abandon the cybertruck and focus on building cheap easy to repair shit boxes. Theyd corner the market by simply being affordable. Especially if they abandoned the BS futurism crap.
I was going to post just the text, but you beat me to it. And with a gif no less! Good show.
Do it. but first let me go buy some puts.
(for the record, that’s either way. cuz. you know. tesla’s getting shitfucked now that they actually have competition.)
Save 56 billions and tell Musk to fuck off? What’s the catch?
Right! Where’s the downside?
Without musky boy the Tesla hype would die and hype is the biggest money maker at Tesla. Yep, you’re right, pretty much no downsides.
Musk being at the helm is 50% of the reason a lot of people won’t even consider buying a Tesla. Boneheaded engineering decisions he dumped on the engineers are the other 50%. Replacing the hype with decent cars would be a win for everybody not named Musk.
Being back lidar.
The reason he’s able to make this ask and not immediately be laughed out of the room is that Tesla’s value is massively inflated based largely on the personality cult surrounding Musk himself. If Tesla starts being valued as a car company rather than a speculative tech company with a “genius” leader at the help (quotes doing a lot of work there) , the stock price will be a fraction of what it is now.
That’s what shareholders stand to lose, and it’s why Musk has any leverage to make this ridiculous ask in the first place.
You get permabanned from that one right wing hellhole social media network, whatever they call it nowadays
When I was using that failed platform Reddit, I got permabanned from a Elon Musk sub because the mods read some anti-Musk comments I made IN OTHER SUBS. Talk about a clusterfuck. Hey hey ho ho, Phony Starck has got to go!!!
nearly all my bans when I was on reddit were from posts on other subs on reddit. Libertarian banned me for a post in antiwork I think, lol.
Oh no, I’ll lose all my followers on cybertruck!
I loved your joke and was excited to share it with my wife… who didn’t get it lol
Did you wake her up from laughing so hard? :^)
Is this a reference to something? I swear I saw a comment on Lemmy recently about a dude saying he laughed so hard he woke his wife up
Yes 😅
What’s it a reference to?
I have been so fucking disappointed since I learned their naming scheme for car models. It’s so intensely sophomoric.
“Their”? No, it’s literally just Elon forcing his childish sense of humor on the world.
I am the tiniest bit less annoyed since the Y was announced. For a while I thought he literally just thought the word “sex” was funny or something.
He just went from S3X to S3XY. It’s the same joke but… well, the same. Models H and O likely to be announced as part of his pay package.
tbh S3XHOY fucks
Yeah but people call cars “sexy.” It’s less weird than just spelling out the word “sex” like you’re a 10 year old boy laughing at the word “sex”.
Honestly. the naming scheme is not a problem for me. What is a problem is that they took away the option to have Tesla cars make fart noises to warn pedestrians that the otherwise quite quiet cars are coming.
The catch is that Tesla has a bunch of problems that might cause the company to be in serious trouble soon, and if musk leaves before the company starts tanking then we’ll have to hear endless bullshit from people about how musk was so great that he single handedly was what kept the company going.
It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make it that means musk is given a “fuck off” instead of 56 billions.
His other ventures will show he’s not the Tony Stark level genius some thought years ago, so it’s a temporary problem anyway.
If the company really tanks even after saving 56 billion dollars that they could spend on literally anything else to improve their products, maybe they shouldn’t be a company anymore.
They really never should have been worth more than the rest of the auto industry, that’s for sure.
Eh, the company is already in severe trouble.
Whilst Elon was playing dumbass with that cyber truck monstrosity that can only be sold in a select few countries because it’s so fucking dangerous, Tesla lost the entire headstart it had. It has a very limited set of older models for sale that only really are interesting for people with money. Meanwhile China is here now with loads of cheap EV cars. Then there are fraud investigations that will turn bad as musk has for years been promising lies. See Theranos for an example on how that would work.
I could go on for a long time, but suffice to say, Tesla will be bankrupt within 3 years and so will musk.
That’s my exact point. Tesla’s house of cards is about to fall and if elon leaves before it happens then idiots will say it crashed because he left, rather than the truth which is that he’s the one who put it in that position of an inevitable fall. Though in 3 years i don’t think it’ll go bankrupt, it’ll just be much worse off
Exploitative schizoid druggo leaving promising company? That sounds like a win for Tesla.
The best thing for Tesla would be to dump Elon and move its headquarters back to CA. It needs to rekindle the love with its customers. Also Apple could buy Tesla and the world would go nuts.
Also Apple could buy Tesla and the world would go nuts.
People thought Teslas were overpriced before, imagine the valueless Apple upcharge!
Latest update. You won’t be able to adjust seats, mirrors or steering wheel. Apple knows best how they should be set. Customers are too stupid to do it apparently.
Would you like to adjust your seat? How about your mirrors? For only $35.00 per month for seat adjustment and only an additional $10.00 per month to adjust mirrors and you can adjust them yourself 10 times per day!!! A deal too good to be true, hurry and talk to AI agent today!
Imagine the size of the lightning port
Yeah but apple has iBags that deploy in an accident to protect the passengers, and the patented iWheel allows the front tires to turn 35 degrees in either direction.
It deploys to protect any passenger with a paired iphone app. Other passengers will get a coupon to upgrade.
Honestly it would probably require a full rebrand at this point. Tesla as a brand is too tainted now.
Elon, sometime soon: “I’ve got a great idea! We’re renaming Tesla to ‘E’! Let’s go, bros!”
X
Apple buying Tesla would be kinda crazy, might turn out good since Teslas are basically computers with wheels. But the two companies design way differently than each other, I doubt Tesla is as good of craftsmanship as what Apple typically does, and may sully their brand unless they can find a cost effective way to turn out a better product for similar pricing
I could see Microsoft making more sense between it or Apple. Tesla could give them that “sexy” edge they’ve literally never had before and that Apple’s always had going for them. But there are tons of legal issues and regulations with the automotive industry, idk if they will want to.
Other interesting options would be NVIDIA or Alphabet, they have the spare capital for it but again, weird industry for them to get into. Likely Toyota or Ford etc would buy before a tech company imo.
I think alphabet have a good partnership with jaguar. They would have to redesign to bring in line with Waymo. The bones are there though.
I doubt Tesla is as good of craftsmanship as what Apple typically does
If you want to maintain that feeling, don’t ever buy Beats headphones. I’ve had a few and their build quality is worse than Teslas.
So Apple has bought at least one crummy brand and not corrected build issues.
I mean, for the last 10 years Apple have been running their own autonomous vehicle project, only to be cancelled this year.
So, they’re in a good place to buy Tesla now.
Gtfo, so long, dipshit
The only comment we need here.
