!foundthenecromancer
Cats ate her face
My parents do this all the time. “Yeah, we just came back from the funeral, it was beautiful.” So apparently my aunt died. “Oh yeah, we thought it wouldn’t interest you”.
At the same time, they call me to tell me “So, Henry had to go to the hospital, he’s in a bad state. We though you’d want to know.” So apparently someone from their neighborhood who I never met or heard of has some bad health.
Oh, everything’s fine now, …
I wish. Nope, nothing like my family.
… but two weeks ago she was murdered.
Nevermind, this checks out.
Mom didn’t tell me she got married and was pregnant while I was in college. I talked to her almost daily then…
Yea I found out from my server at a restaurant that my cousin killed himself. She was his friend. It had been months since it happened and no one told me that he passed, even though I saw my family recently. Fucked up.
People get really weird about suicide. Almost like they think talking about it will incentivize others to kill themselves.
Apparently it actually can, which is why news reports are careful about it and it shouldn’t happen in TV soaps or fictional dramas often
Yea I think my parents and uncle’s side are just old school and don’t like to talk about tough subjects.
there is a phenomenon known as “suicide contagion” or “copycat suicide,” where exposure to suicide can lead to an increase in suicide rates.
Typically this occurs with media, like when a celebrity is in the news for suicide, but I believe there is still a relationship in just talking about it, especially in younger folks.I’m not saying there’s nothing to that but it seems to me that if the mere mention of suicide in just about any context is enough to send you over the edge then you were pretty close to falling off already. I find it difficult to attribute much to something like that.
Exactly. It doesn’t increase suicidal thoughts, it just reminds some that it’s an answer to their thoughts. The solution is reducing the stigma so that people can talk about them freely instead of bottling them up until they reach that point.
My dad
“Well your grandmother is out of the hospital”
She was in the hospital???
“Yup, the funeral is next week.”
Damn, who’s going to call me my grandpa’s name and let me smash now? 😭
Linda always brought those awful jello molds to family events, so maybe there’s a silver lining.
“Son I’m going in for cancer surgery tomorrow. Everything will be fine… take care of your father, you know he’s basically useless on his own.”
Literally 2 days ago. Don’t worry, she’s fine.
Mom did this to me also. On the same day of her radical mastectomy. I had no idea she had breast cancer.
The surgery went ok at least.
Probably didn’t know how to tell you she might die. They really don’t give you much advice on how to talk to people… in my case it was literally a grade school style fill-in-the-blanks in-case-surgery-leaves-you-a-vegetable tell them we can have your organs work-book.
But also likely a bit of narcissism… I’m sorry. Nobody she find out that way.
Cancer charities such as McMillan’s will tell you. Obviously the hospitals went and even if they did they’d probably charge you for the service.
Assuming went=wont… I’m still not following. Cancer charaties will tell you what?
They have guidance on how to talk to people about it. The hospital may or may not have counselors on staff but if they don’t you can always talk to the charities
My sister, didn’t visit for a few years then told family she was going to visit for Christmas, okay. She arrives with unexpected company, her boyfriend, she says. Family never heard about him. 1 month later she visits and goes, oh yeah, “I am expecting in 5 months”. 2 months later she goes, oh yeah “I got married last week”.
She doesn’t understand why dad was so upset…
He should just call her every once in a while…
What are you crazy?
“The family has COVID”
“Oh, okay”
2 days later
Sister sends me a screenshot of a Facebook post in which my mother’s in the hospitalBecause if there’s anywhere you should share your private medical issues, it’s on a for-profit website that tracks and sells literally everything you do online, and won’t even show it to the people who you wanted to share it with.
Facebook Nowadays: “Oh, you want to see what your friends are up to? Too fucking bad. Here’s a thousand pictures of Sylvester Stalone, and 900 ads.”
My dad on 2 separate and unrelated occasions.
Him. Almost recovered from my surgery
Me. Wtf what surgery.
Him. I put it on Facebook
My Mother recently went on a trip. During fathers day I’m talking to my Grandma and she asks if I was told that my mom fell on the escalator and hurt her hip. Not bad, just sore. I say no and my grandma seems really surprised that I was not told this. Later that same day I’m talking to my mom and she asks if anyone told me that my grandma broke a rib last week. No, grandma never mentioned this! Apparently I can only get my family’s health updates second hand.
Your fifth cousin twice removed just phoned up and said she was in a nasty car accident a couple of days ago – I just thought you should know.
My family communicated exclusively through a Facebook Messenger group chat and my sister keeps posting pictures of her daughter so all the important stuff goes way up in the history. I don’t even have Facebook Messenger on my phone. I rarely if ever check the messages because I’ve removed Facebook from my life.
I got my family off messenger for family chat, onto signal.
My partner never had Facebook, so I got lots of messages “tell Sam blah blah”
I told them via group sms, “hey guys, I deleted Facebook, so if you want us it’s phone, SMS, or signal”
So now when they want to tell Sam something, they can @ Sam
Yeah forget it. My family won’t budge unfortunately. Apparently, I’m the one who’s problematic.
I know people that still send me messages on Facebook even though I’ve told them that I don’t have the messenger, will never have the messenger, don’t have the Facebook app, will never have the app, and can’t check the website messages from my mobile browser. I visit Facebook on a desktop like once every 3 months. So, I have no clue why they still send me messages there. Have fun waiting for a response, my guy.
I deleted Facebook and gave everyone I knew who had ever messaged me my signal id and told them that was it, the only way to get in touch
I just hate how they guilt trip me afterwards for not being at a family event because I missed a message that was sent two weeks ago sandwiched between 40 pictures of my niece.
I came home one weekend while in college and my mom’s car was gone, but there was an unfamilure minivan. When I got inside, did the normal pleasantries, and I asked about the minivan, my mom dropped:
Oh, I hit some black ice on the way to work last and spun and got t-boned. I woke up to the paramedics shaking me from behind. They had to some in through the hatchback because the car was laying on the driver’s door. Anyway, we’re waiting for insurance before we start looking for another car and they gave me a rental in the mean time.
I had talked to her on the phone in between the accident and my visit and she hadn’t mentioned it. She broke 2 ribs and had a hairline fractured of her foot - the other driver had a mild concussion. So all-in-all it could have been infinitely worse, but still.
