Richmond RCMP shared a photo showing two men, one on the ground with a pained facial expression as he reaches for his blazing pants, while the other man apparently tries to put out the flames.
I didn’t do it!
Cop: oh man. I’ve been waiting to say this…
A transcript of the incident has now been released:
Suspect 1: Shit bro, it lit early. Fuck, I’ll try and put it out.
Suspect 2: I told you to bring a fucking fire extinguisher!
Suspect 1: What kind of arsonist brings a fire extinguisher to the arson. My boys would be roasting me.
Suspect 2: Yea, well my nuts are roas- Fuck bro, stop slapping my fucking dick!
Suspect 1: Yo dick is on fire bro, the fuck you want me to do?
Suspect 2: Like take off your fucking jacket and smother it. You sleep through fucking home ec?
Suspect 1: Man, home ec was for pussies, and this jacket was fifty bucks.
Suspect 2: My fucking dick is on fire! Fuck yo threads!
In unrelated news, one of the two suspects agreed to a plea deal and gave their partner up after being rushed to the hospital for second degree burns.
(This is all fabricated for the lulz of course)
