Congrats on your first roll! For me, this picture isn’t bad for what it is, but there’s room for improvement.

Like when I take a step back, nothing about the composition is really drawing my eye. So it kind of just reads as a random assortment of people on the street

For the next roll, I would put the composition and readability in the forefront of my mind. If I have to scratch my head and go “what am I looking at?”. It’s probably not that great off the bat. Henri Cartier Bresson, is probably the best teacher when it comes to readability. Even when there’s many elements he still finds ways to guide your eye.

I think you didn’t think about your framing, didn’t wait for a decisive moment, and left a whole bunch on the table in your post processing. The old saw is that your first 10,000 photos suck, and I don’t think that’s true, but you probably have to take 10,000 photos before you can have a clear opinion on those earliest photos.