I’m not even American but I’ve already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that’s exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I’m practically a swing state of my own, the way I’m swinging my massive votes around.
screenshotting this and sending it to fox news as an admission of guilt
I’m very afraid some maga is going to read this comment and take it seriously.
But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.
I love it.
Finally someone said it. I’m tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.
Calm down Canada.
/c/NCD leaking
Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!
I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.
I’m voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.
Netscape was never lesser or evil.
Naw, they’re rooting for Eisenhower.
upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke
It took me like 15 😭
I’m a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn’t running STUPIDS!
Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in.
We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)
The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?
Hell yeah I’m writing him in
I’m glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I’ll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!
This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!
Ted Kazinski?
Don’t trigger the feds haha
When they feel insecure, people die
Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?
!it’s a running gag for the onion!<
Tap for spoiler
Hmm
I used:
::: spoiler Tap for spoiler hidden content :::
That’s what I used and it works on my app
Whatever you’re using seems to take the > as a comment immediately
You might know him for his academic papers.
you joke but this is how he’s brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context
Seems like it’s up there with the killdozer Fandom. Casual terrorism… Or living the American dream?
Among other works
And his cake having tendancies
Im writting in Joe Biden this november
Did you forget to ask someone?
But a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for Trump!
Based, thank you for your vote
The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.
I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.
pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead
That’s only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.
Its a reoccurring gag.
Sure. Just a joke.
I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.
They’re now in newspaper format again, if that helps!
I need to wake up. I went to sleep drunk, I woke up feeling still drunk.
I read your username as “DopeSalad”
Thats not even CLOSE!
Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious anyways. There is a band named Hopesfall. I thought it was dumb so I came up with that.
There’s some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.
$50 that Trump rages about this in the next 24 hours thinking Biden is still running.
How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha
Hahq tuah
Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.
This better be satire
Why would you insult America’s Finest News Source?
No, but you sound like you might be. A Trump supporter blatantly incapable of absorbing the information right in front of him. Typical.
for the good of everyone on the planet, please never communicate another thought or feeling ever again, over any medium
Never heard of the Onion before?
Edit. Oh Jesus, I looked at their comments. Insane nut job mascot.
Oh jeez I wished I didn’t look. Definitely just an account that only gets downvotes.
Just so everybody knows what kind of fucking liberal is this brain dead this guy regularly complains that lgbtq and trans people are bad because if you say bad things about them people get mad at you.
You weren’t kidding. This guy is one of those “I used to support gay rights but then they said I couldn’t use slurs anymore so now that’s why I’m a conservative.”
I like the one where he said if you “criticize” a straight person only the straight person get mad at you but if you “criticize” a gay person everybody gets mad at you.
I warmly invite the guy to go anywhere other than here on the internet and criticize somebody FOR being straight, like I guarantee he does to gay people, and watch people get incredibly not mad that you’re criticizing straight people for being straight.
Nobody ever criticizes me for being straight IRL so I have to do it all myself :cri:
You’re straight? Haha thats gay
The guy plays Starfield if you want another target to bully lmao
Playing Starfield is self-inflicted punishment.
“‘The Onion’” is literally in the headline.