This was back in the late 90s before cell phones were common, and I didn’t happen to have a camera in my car at the time.
This was back in the late 90s before cell phones were common, and I didn’t happen to have a camera in my car at the time.
No one believes me, but I swear one time the store’s lights were fucky at a Roomstore location I was driving by, and it looked like Poonstore.
Awesome. They specifically mentioned what it would be in European units for their understanding. They weren’t talking to you directly.
Well, it’s not supposed to burst into flames upon hitting a tree, for a start.
A well-known mentalism “trick” from David Blaine was when he’d ask someone to “Name a two digit number from 1 to 50; make each digit an odd digit, but use different digits”, and his guess would be 37. There are only eight values that work {13, 15, 17, 19, 31, 35, 37, 39}, and 37 was the most common number people would choose. Of course, he’d only put the clips of people choosing 37. (He’d mix it up by asking for a number between 50 and 100, even digits, different digits, and the go-to number was 68 iirc.)
Lol I didn’t last time and had to hire a second set of movers. And those second motherfuckers stole my cell phone.
You mean like having movers coming in a few weeks but not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country? Cuz it feels like you might be referring to my having movers coming in a few weeks but me not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country.
He shopped out his lips.
Meowing is very common among cats. Go look up videos on YouTube where people attach GoPros to their outdoor cats and see them interact with other cats in the neighborhood.
This is the only reason I still teach teenagers after 17 years, and I will not expound further.
And you simply must begin and end every sentence with uWu, obviously.
Straight dating online is like trying to find drinkable water in a crisis situation; women are stranded in the ocean, and men are stranded in the desert.
“Arizona toddler…died”
Brian Regan once equipped that he had taken a speed-reading course. “Since then, I can read 2000 words per minute. But…my comprehension’s plummeted.”
I only date women who do exactly what they want to do and not what society says they should do. As it happens, they generally don’t wear makeup every day.
“Oh…no, no, no honey, the steel foil hat doesn’t go with that outfit, try the gold one.”
Photogenic: Looks good in photographs; attractive
Memory: A construct of one’s mind that allows them to recall information
a photogenic memory = a beautiful mind.
It is humorous because the assumption is that I mean to say “photographic memory”. One with a photographic memory can recall visual information to which they’ve been exposed with great accuracy.
But when I tell this joke to friends or colleagues, I say “No no, a photogenic memory…I have a beautiful mind”. There was a film with actor Russell Crowe called A Beautiful Mind in which he plays a brilliant professor who we discover late in the film has schizophrenia which has caused him no small amount of embarrassment and challenges in his life. According to diagnostic testing I had done, I have a high intelligence quotient along with autism, and it, too, has caused me embarrassment and challenges in my life.
So when I say I have a “beautiful mind”, people remember that film and it occurs to them that I am saying I am intelligent (something friends and colleagues already know about me) but that my autism (something they also know about me) makes me a little weird and is a burden to me sometimes. It’s just a bit of self-deprecating humor.
I might end up studying to get a math/physics endorsement when I start teaching in Oregon next year. The district I’ll be teaching for has in their collective bargaining agreement that each teacher can request funds for certification exams, and they offer $1000 each year for postgraduate work, so why not? No district I’ve taught for in Texas offers anything like that.
Plush - Stone Temple Pilots. I kill with that one.