• thorbot@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    First wish: all humans turn blue for 24 hours after masturbating

    Second wish: reverse all human digestive tracts so food goes into anus and excretion comes out of mouth, trump style

    Third wish: reproductive organs are all non functional for reproduction specifically and humans mate by doing The Polka for 6 consecutive hours.

    Love, Satan

    • w00tabaga@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Third kind of makes the first one pointless. Unless that is, you consider doing the Polka by yourself masturbation.

      • djsoren19@yiffit.net
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        1 year ago

        You still feel horny urges, but baby can only be created via intense accordion action. It’d be a real blessing, the most effective form of contraceptive available.

      • thorbot@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Notice how I said reproduction specifically. You could still pleasure yourself. and yes solo polka would also count as masturbation

    • Shush@reddthat.com
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      1 year ago

      Funnily enough, the third wish is actually one of the most positive things that can happen here.

      Now people will fuck each other all day without having to worry about getting pregnant. No pills, no implants, no hormone. It’s just good ol’ pleasure now.