I had to walk out of the library the other day. I was wearing noise canceling headphones and listening to music at a normal volume and yet a mom with three kids drove me out due to the fact they were running around and yelling like it was their house.
I travel and this is the new normal at libraries throughout the U.S. Many libraries now have an open area children’s section where the kids can play on the floor and be as loud as they want.
I do use study rooms at the library but not all libraries have them and a closed glass door does not block all the noise from a screaming baby/toddler.
Libraries are a shared space and in the past used to be quiet. Now in the effort to be inclusive to everyone they don’t enforce any noise rules because they want those moms and their screaming kids to come visit the library.
And of course, you cannot complain to anyone about this because if you do so you are a Karen and no one will care and then they’ll tell you “if you don’t like it you can leave” This is society now…everyone does what they want with no regard for others.
The enshittification of Meat Space…
There’s a few things here to unpack. Libraries have to evolve. And clearly, those doing the evolving have a goal of getting more kids in, which is laudable. Kids don’t just need to read, but need to love reading. However, that also doesn’t mean they should be allowed to just act wild. I would suggest you talk to the librarian about this if you haven’t already. Maybe they can move to a set of published “kids”hours and quiet (or near quiet) time otherwise.
Chances are, with childcare costs being what they are, these parents may have nowhere else to go with their kids. Again, have you talked with them about maybe keeping a closer eye on their kids and (very politely) suggesting they maybe need to go to the local playground or open space if their kids want to be rowdy?
And finally, have you considered that you yourself could be the problem? Yes, libraries have historically been quiet, study spaces, but things do change, especially as you are travelling. Yes, you want a quiet place to work, but that doesn’t entitle you to one unless you are paying for it.
You seem to putting yourself into a victim-mindset where it’s somebody else’s fault, and why oh why doesn’t somebody else fix it for me? I apologize if this is labelling you, and I do acknowledge that I have an incomplete set of information. So, while I agree with you in principle that people are getting selfish, this problem remains one of social contracts, and these only get resolved when people talk about them openly and without prejudice…
In short, you’re not a Karen for asking other people to be reasonable, as long as you do it from a position of empathy and understanding. And if you don’t get that back, you have to keep trying… You cannot change the world, but the world can change you if you let it
Mental rest is a first need for any human being, at the same degree that is being fed. If you don’t agree, that’s only because you haven’t been pushed hard enough into your limits. We live in a world where people are growing increasingly individualistic, entitled to the point of “my freedoms end where I say they end, regardless of your needs”, and capable of provoking more and more noise through phones, speakers and fireworks, while roads are filled with more and bigger cars. So you can be certain that I’m going to be in radical support of anyone who says they need less noise, whether it is because they need to sleep, work or just chill.
I couldn’t agree more. The world needs to be more quiet, with people actually learning to think about the needs of others.
For example, it pisses me off no end when some asshole in the park is riding around blaring music out of a backpack speaker. Or that their dogs shit on public grassland. I’ve even walked up to people and asked them to please stop it. Surprisingly, one or two have but most just insult me, and there’s little I can do but walk away.
To a degree, they have a point, as do the noisy people in the library. Unless there is a rule that specifically prohibits it, all we have are the social norms we need to live by. If the majority want such places noisy, we’ll have to find new spaces. That’s what society means.
To be very clear, this does suck but you won’t change these people by complaining, only by building empathy and that is very hard to do when nobody cares about society any more.
I am paying for it. We are all paying for it. I also pay for public pools where I think my dogs would love to swim in the summer, but that doesn’t entitle me to disrupt others just because I love my dogs.
This literally means that everyone has an equal right to use it… And you’ve paid for an agency to policy it.
In pools, this means the agency can create a rule for “no dogs”. In this case, the library does not either set or enforce a rule that says kids need to be quiet.
FWIW, I completely agree with your point as you’ve explained it. I also know that complaining to complete strangers won’t change anything. Unless there’s a few librarians on here, in which case, Librarians: WTF?
Oh my god you (or the fictional parent we’re talking about) is literally being the karen.
They are disobeying the rules (not keeping quiet), they are acting entitled (by acting like the rules don’t apply to them), and they are now offended when called out for not following the rules (primo Karen behavior).
They also are taking their problems (loud noisy kids) and pushing it onto everyone else. (More entitlement. Sure my kids are loud, but they deserve to be loud more than you deserve a quiet space. My personal freedoms are more important than yours).
You claim that OP didn’t show empathy when I don’t see that they went and demanded they leave or anything, to me they showed restraint. (And don’t even begin to start the debate about them going and talking to a parent about that. We both know there is a zero percent chance that they wouldn’t immediately become the target or a barrage of hate and screams for asking them to please be quiet. I worked retail. I know how parents react). You however have shown zero empathy to their situation, their need to focus and study, instead only seeing your point of view. You claim social contract while ignoring that the parents broke the social contract or being quiet.
You’re entire point reads as “the parents wants and freedoms are more important than this person’s wants and freedom”. That’s the funny thing about freedom, none of us really get true freedom, because true freedom means other people have to lose theirs.
Check yourself. You are the selfish one.
Good work - Labelling someone is really going to help them hear your point of view… And that literally the precise opposite of what I am trying to say, which is that the posted rules are the thing that applies here. If loud kids are not prohibited the signs saying “be quiet” are no longer there, they are not technically in the wrong.
FTR, I totally think the parents are actually the assholes here, and not OP. My point is that if OP did indeed confront them, and he was insulted, he has little recourse but to walk away or find someone in charge of that space to deal with it. If there are definitively clearly posted rules, then point that out to them would help. Alternatively, talking to the librarian in charge is the next step.
I read OPs post more about this being a more common thing in libraries, and I hope that with enough complaints the loud kids will either stop coming, or learn to be more respectful (because yes, that is a parents job to teach their kids that). Unfortunately, I don’t think that will be the case as we have all but lost the ability to see someone else’s point of view.
The real unpopular opinion is always in the comments.
Great work.