So I just discovered that I have been working next to the waste of oxygen that raped my best friend several years ago. I work in a manufacturing environment and I know that you can’t fire someone just for being a sex offender unless it directly interferes with work duties (in the US). But despite it being a primarily male workforce he does work with several women who have no idea what he is. He literally followed a woman home, broke into her house, and raped her. Him working here puts every female employee at risk. How is that not an unsafe working environment? How is it at even legal to employ him anywhere where he will have contact with women?
See that’s where I disagree. They’re both awful, traumatic events. At least with murder you’re dead and don’t have to spend the rest of your life haunted by the experience.
Murder, for the victim, by definition, is not a traumatic event.
I think this attitude where some traumatic event ruins people for life is toxic. Trauma is part of life. People can move on and have fulfilling lives.
And so therefore a rape victim should just put up with rape and move on. They’re still alive so it doesn’t matter, and their rapist should be able to live with no consequences.
By your twisted logic, you can justify doing anything to anyone as long as you don’t kill them. Rape does affect everyone for life, especially the ones who have claimed they moved on from it.
What makes you think someone won’t turn around and use your own reasoning to justify doing something to you?
“Trauma is part of life”? Murder and dieing is also part of life. Sorry, but that just doesn’t make sense. Trauma in a clinical sense is certainly not “part of life”.
Life is traumatic. Everyone will go through difficult periods. Your parents will die. Friends will kill themselves. You will be in serious car accidents. You will be assaulted and robbed. You’ll leave your kids in the backseat on a hot day and you’ll fall and hit your head on the concrete in a weird way that causes paralysis.
This is unavoidable. Life is full of these types of events and while you certainly won’t get to experience all of them you are bound to experience some.
Lacan says when your subjective perspective on life is shattered, you’ve felt “the Real” up close. This is traumatic- your psyche breaks and you need time to heal these cracks. They’ll never be quite the same.
Let’s say I’m a young professional woman. I take a self defense class and have a good job and a nice boyfriend. I have a set of beliefs about the world. For example, most people are good. I have bodily autonomy. I am strong and can defend myself.
Then one night a male stranger pulls me into a dark alley, beats the shit out of me and raped me. All of a sudden, it turns out not everyone is good. I cannot defend myself effectively against a male and he can totally take away my bodily autonomy.
All these beliefs shattered- I have experienced trauma. As Ben Finegold would say- the truth hurts.
It doesn’t have to be so dramatic. Any event can shatter these beliefs. I could get a D on the essay I spent so hard working on. I thought I was a straight A intelligent student… but then when I put my heart into something, I fail.
Belief shattered - maybe I’m not so smart. Trauma. Different scales, same phenomenon.
Tldr: yes, trauma is inherent to life. It’s part of our psyche.
And that means we all should tolerate rape. Or violence, or even attempted murder. After all, the arbitrary line of not being dead is the only one that matters and who gives a fuck about our quality of life while we’re still alive? And it’s all the victim’s responsibility because rape is a normal, immutable part of life and we have to accept it. How convenient that you, the rape apologists, benefit while we suffer.
You can justify doing anything to anyone under that logic.
Also it falls apart because many rape victims commit suicide anyway, so this is a particularly disgusting rape apologist talking point. 🤦🤦🤦
Jesus Christ, Lemmy. What the actual fuck is wrong with you as a platform?
Nobody is advocating for tolerating rape. If you have nothing to respond with, don’t make up some wild claims. Makes you seem like a crazy person, when I think it’s really just you realize you’re spewing nonsense and have no reasonable argument against what anyone is saying.
Oh lmfao
If you’re going to lie to my face, you could at least try to be subtle about it. At least motte & bailey yourself like a decent rape apologist knows how to do.
What is the point of this? Are you simply incapable of engaging rationally? Does that make you frustrated? I don’t understand the purpose of these strange comments.
Nobody anywhere is tolerating rape. Nobody.
And now the ad homs start.
Stop crying. The mods sided with you monsters. You all openly defended rape and they sided with you. Learn to take your W.
They’re rape apologists. Everything they’ve been doing is part of a framework of Motte and Baileys they have constructed to justify and defend rape, and rapists.
Notice they’re talking about the nature of trauma in life when this is actually a thread about OP dealing with a known sexual predator at work? How they have been talking about redemption, punishment, and the death penalty when NONE of those things are eve tangentially related to OP? That is purposeful and intentional.
They derail threads like this, where there are clear-cut cases to hold someone off, because they oppose accountability on a moral level.
They do it because they’re rape apologists.
I can’t send a corpse to therapy for any amount of time that’s long enough for them to recover from being dead, I can say differently about being traumatized…
And honestly as someone who’s used therapy to recover from trauma, I find the idea that “It would unquestionably be better if you were murdered instead” to be so absurdly offensive and dismissive, as if anything of value to me and my continued existence is suddenly moot because I’ve become “Damaged Goods”
Seeing Murder as preferable to Rape is a highly misogynistic way of thinking that draws too much from patriarchal standards about a woman’s worth.
Death is always an option, revival generally isn’t.