I’d make the point that this is a comic. You wouldn’t say that in real life, which is why the comic works. It’s jarring, and the bluntness forces reflection.
Right. I would hope the takeaway men get from this is that, “what was your worst date”, may not be an appropriate get to know you question for most women.
But basically no one needs to learn that lesson. It’s a strawman. Who in their right mind would start a date with a new person by asking them to take stock of all the times that same activity turned out poorly for them?
No one is going to behave like that in reality. That was the point of my comment. The artist wouldn’t enter this scenario in person.
I think people do need to learn that lesson. I grew up as a man, and never thought twice about cycling home after dark, or going on a date. If asked I would be able to tell you that women do in fact have it worse when it comes to experiencing violence, but it didn’t crop up as a consideration in my day-to-day.
I’ve since had a small amount of the experience women go through after cross-dressing on queer nights out. Presenting femme gets you treated very differently, and this comic’s purpose is to present you with an in-your-face reminder. It is a piece of art; it’s not supposed to be an accurate reflection of reality.
Buzz killers for sure, too. Like, people should be going on dates to try something new and as a way to try and overcome their problems. They’re attempts, at least.
If all that you’re going to do is dump trauma onto someone in a scenario like this. They didn’t fail, you did.
Stop being a prick. Rape is a real fucking issue that should, could and is discussed in different ways and at appropriate times.
Dumping trauma on someone during a first date just means you weren’t ready for a first date and need someone to talk to (or you just don’t get social cues). No blame on the victim here - but it’s important to acknowledge that a guy making innocent small talk isn’t a dick.
I’ve already been exposed to the “trauma dump” narrative and know that it’s only used by shitty people who have fuck-all for empathy.
Case in point the first time I heard the term was when I got accused of “trauma dumping” because I was telling an interesting story about some fucked up shit that happened in my life, turned out the guy just didn’t want to hear about bad stuff happening in the world and didn’t care how anyone else felt about it. It’s literally just “shut up I want to feel good I don’t care about injustice in the world” like shit sorry for not being boring I guess. If you don’t like it you can just ask me to change the subject like a normal person without having to make it a moral crusade.
TL;DR people shouldn’t be socially punished for coming out about bad stuff that happened; doing so is sociopathically siding with evil.
You sound quite self centered, if not narcissistic, to be honest.
People have the right to say they don’t want to hear about trauma, and you have the right to not want to socialise with those people. That doesn’t make them sociopathic nor does it make you any less a victim.
But as for the actual topic covered in this conversation - most people would consider sharing traumatic events on a first date to be oversharing, possibly even antisocial, and people who do behave like the woman in this comic tend to find it harder to get 2nd dates. Not because of the trauma, but because of the oversharing and what that tells people about you. Rightly or wrongly, that’s society right now.
Not reading that, not even 1 paragraph in and you’re already trying to psychoanalyze me as having a mental disorder as a cheap method of delegitimizing my prospective. I fear if I continue reading beyond that point I might actually end up with one.
You’ve already outed yourself as a massive piece of shit, so i’m not going to engage you any further. Sorry, I don’t debate fascists.
Set up of this is very manipulative and parasitic. Trauma gloating/baiting.
I’d make the point that this is a comic. You wouldn’t say that in real life, which is why the comic works. It’s jarring, and the bluntness forces reflection.
Right. I would hope the takeaway men get from this is that, “what was your worst date”, may not be an appropriate get to know you question for most women.
But basically no one needs to learn that lesson. It’s a strawman. Who in their right mind would start a date with a new person by asking them to take stock of all the times that same activity turned out poorly for them?
No one is going to behave like that in reality. That was the point of my comment. The artist wouldn’t enter this scenario in person.
I think people do need to learn that lesson. I grew up as a man, and never thought twice about cycling home after dark, or going on a date. If asked I would be able to tell you that women do in fact have it worse when it comes to experiencing violence, but it didn’t crop up as a consideration in my day-to-day.
I’ve since had a small amount of the experience women go through after cross-dressing on queer nights out. Presenting femme gets you treated very differently, and this comic’s purpose is to present you with an in-your-face reminder. It is a piece of art; it’s not supposed to be an accurate reflection of reality.
Buzz killers for sure, too. Like, people should be going on dates to try something new and as a way to try and overcome their problems. They’re attempts, at least.
If all that you’re going to do is dump trauma onto someone in a scenario like this. They didn’t fail, you did.
I’m sorry your rape fantasies are ruined by the rape realities.
Stop being a prick. Rape is a real fucking issue that should, could and is discussed in different ways and at appropriate times.
Dumping trauma on someone during a first date just means you weren’t ready for a first date and need someone to talk to (or you just don’t get social cues). No blame on the victim here - but it’s important to acknowledge that a guy making innocent small talk isn’t a dick.
I’ve already been exposed to the “trauma dump” narrative and know that it’s only used by shitty people who have fuck-all for empathy.
Case in point the first time I heard the term was when I got accused of “trauma dumping” because I was telling an interesting story about some fucked up shit that happened in my life, turned out the guy just didn’t want to hear about bad stuff happening in the world and didn’t care how anyone else felt about it. It’s literally just “shut up I want to feel good I don’t care about injustice in the world” like shit sorry for not being boring I guess. If you don’t like it you can just ask me to change the subject like a normal person without having to make it a moral crusade.
TL;DR people shouldn’t be socially punished for coming out about bad stuff that happened; doing so is sociopathically siding with evil.
You sound quite self centered, if not narcissistic, to be honest.
People have the right to say they don’t want to hear about trauma, and you have the right to not want to socialise with those people. That doesn’t make them sociopathic nor does it make you any less a victim.
But as for the actual topic covered in this conversation - most people would consider sharing traumatic events on a first date to be oversharing, possibly even antisocial, and people who do behave like the woman in this comic tend to find it harder to get 2nd dates. Not because of the trauma, but because of the oversharing and what that tells people about you. Rightly or wrongly, that’s society right now.
Not reading that, not even 1 paragraph in and you’re already trying to psychoanalyze me as having a mental disorder as a cheap method of delegitimizing my prospective. I fear if I continue reading beyond that point I might actually end up with one.
You’ve already outed yourself as a massive piece of shit, so i’m not going to engage you any further. Sorry, I don’t debate fascists.