Occasionally I have these days where I don’t feel like doing work or chores. So I’m thinking, why not just enjoy myself, do something that interests me?

But then I don’t find any motivation to do anything really. Not even the things I normally enjoy very much.

Typically I would then waste time browsing or watching videos, but that seems to make it worse. How to snap out of this?

  • nifty@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Write stuff down, write down why you should do things or not do them. When you need to regroup, read what you wrote. It helps me, but ymmv

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      This does help me a lot actually. I sometimes write a bit too much though. One of the reasons I started working on getting better is because of journalling.

  • satanmat@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Depression sucks.

    If it just unmotivated, make yourself go out. Set that as a goal. Just to get out of the house. Then work on doing something outside. A short walk , then look for some longer ones and try those.

    My wife makes me take the dog on walks once a week and that helps

    If it’s more, you might need therapy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Beyond walking the dog, I hate leaving the house. I can spike a panic attack doing the shopping.

    Ymmv

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      You’re spot on. I don’t even notice it myself. But during these kind of days, I always just sit at home and do nothing. I like walking actually, but for some reason my motivation for that drops as well and then I don’t feel like going outside either. But it always helps, even if I don’t feel like it.

      I’d love to have a dog or cat at home, but I don’t think I have the financial means at the moment. And I don’t want to get one if I don’t think I’ll be able to take care of it properly.

  • heisenbug4242@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    These may be depressive symptoms. It may be a good idea to find someone close to you to talk to, and keep them up-to-date about the situation. Make sure it’s someone you trust and can open up to. It may also help to seek professional help if you feel it is getting worse or if you experience physical symptoms as well. We all have a need for genuine human connection, and talking to someone can help. It may make it easier for you to get back in touch with your more positive emotions, to ‘snap’ back into that positive or happier state of mind where things make sense like they usually do. Hope this helps. Much love from the Netherlands. ❤️

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      Heel erg bedankt voor je suggesties!

      I’m living in a different country now, and can only contact my friends in the evening hours (And I find it very difficult to talk to them about these kind of things.) My partner is very helpful for me, but I cannot expect them to deal with my worries all the time (I also don’t want to drag them down.)

      Professional help would be useful, but thus far, I have not found anyone that really seemed to understand my situation. I find it very difficult to connect with anyone, even with my parents and friends I often have to push myself to keep any meaningful connection.

  • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Um yeah, dat me. My tendency to do that is born of low self-worth, poor diet, exhaustion from capitalism-related horrors, frustration at my lot in life as a trans autist, and indignance towards the billionaires and the bigots enabling them.

    How to snap out of it? No god damned idea. I’m so close to being able to pick up and move from Texas to Portland (if I can just get offered any one of the two dozen teaching jobs for which I have applied) where I hope that my mood spikes up a bit because of the locals and the locale. Apart from uprooting my entire life, I genuinely don’t think there is a way for me in particular to escape this rut.

    Good luck to you.

  • ThotDragon@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 months ago

    I just girlrot til it’s over. Can’t force motivation. Best thing is to learn what stuff over depleted it and plan around that for the future.

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      Sometimes it’s pretty clear, but other times it feels like I had a great week and then suddenly I don’t feel like doing anything anymore.

      Never heard of ‘girlrot’ before, learned something new :) It’s definitely a good description of what i’ll end up doing most of these times.

      • I think it’s best to avoid them as much as possible. What I have done is keep a log of what sends me into them so that I can be aware and limit my exposure to these triggers. For me, it’s sensory overload, socializing, and stress. Basically, my brain has a certain amount of mental energy it can dedicate to processing, and when that runs out, I hit shutdown.

        Given that, what seems to help with recovery is:

        • Quiet time
        • A dark, cool setting
        • Repetitive mindless tasks. For example, mining in Minecraft or looking at memes
        • Listening to or watching something I’ve seen/heard many times before
        • Sleep
        • Time with calm and quiet people
        • If the shutdown is triggered by social issues, then time with someone validating that could help develop a plan.
        • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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          3 months ago

          How do you find a cool spot and quiet time when at work?

          I find this very difficult to achieve in an office environment. Although I definitely need it.

          Just the though of somebody asking me why I’m sitting somewhere separately makes me uncomfortable. So I tend to avoid taking these kind of breaks. I know, sounds stupid. But I feel so uncomfortable if I’m thinking about how other people will interpret it.

  • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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    4 months ago

    Separate all of your problems into small finite categories and deal with them in order of importance: Health > Food > Shelter > Money > Companionship > Fulfillment

    I actually used to struggle to find energy to do anything before I found out I was allergic to grass, trees, dogs, cats, horses, some insects, etc. Now I take a prescription antihistamine and I feel fine, like maybe benchpressing the sofa might be cool. Problem is, most people have a hard time finding the problems with health, the part that’s wrong with themselves, first and foremost.

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      Yeah it’s not easy to figure out what exactly is wrong sometimes. I think my body either gives me no signals or mixes things up.

      I think this is partly because during my childhood, I often felt uncomfortable (eating certain food, paying attention for hours in class, trying to make friends, etc…) but didn’t have the option to actually recover or rest. When you are at school, you can’t really retreat into your own chamber and take a nap or avoid bothersome noises, lights or social situations.

      I learned that playing videogames or browsing was a very effective way for me to feel better (because it just drowned out all the senses and allowed full focus). But in the end, I feel like I’ve trained myself to ignore what my body says, and in the long run this just leads to more problems.

      More recently, I have learned to listen a bit more to my own needs (sometimes as simple as feeling that I need to go to the toilet, and actually doing it). But it’s still something that is not natural for me at the moment.

  • Tsun@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    Hi! Late to the party sorry.

    I have gone through this, and similarly to what others say, I was able to pin point it to autism burnout. It’s a very steep climb out of the hole, and I wish you the best of luck.

    Some things that have helped me in my journey:

    • Whenever I am having a moment, using this site to figure out why and what I need: https://youfeellikeshit.com/index.html
    • Therapy, specifically someone who is knowledgeable about autism and autism burnout
    • Reading as much as I can about autism burnout and how it manifests (it can take months to years to dig yourself out)
    • A good book, specifically around keeping house and chores, that has helped me a lot: How to Keep House While Drowning
    • If you have the financial means, hiring help to take care of the things taking up space in your brain such as cleaning, food prep, and maybe even taking a leave for a while
    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      Yeah, I think I’m in the digging out stage now. It seems to be very difficult for me to take care of myself while I have to work for income.

      Thanks for the suggestions! I will look into the book, and the website is great (I made something like this myself in my linked notes)

      Therapy seems to be a bit harder for me. I didn’t have anyone with specific experience, and found that the typical talk therapy does not really benefit me (I already spent years researching this myself, so it does not really help to have somebody else repeat it to me). I’ll try to find somebody, but seems like it’s quite difficult.

  • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    Just have to make it until after work and I can have a break

    Just have to make it until the end of the week and I can rest for a couple of days

    Just have to make it until the next holiday

    Just have to make it

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      This was pretty much me in university and during the first years of my work. It just feels like endless postponing of actually doing the things you want. But it never comes.

      I’m starting to wonder if I just have much less capacity (in terms of energy) than other people.

    • EO@dads.cool
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      4 months ago

      @Aurenkin oof that’s life, yep.
      at some point I realized I’ll “make it” but it doesn’t get better, so …
      so nothing, I guess.

      I’ve been through every selective neurotransmitter reuptake inhibitor, and they pull off the amazing feat of being habit-forming drugs that do not actually help one feel better.

      • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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        4 months ago

        What’s your experience with SSRIs? I never wanted to even try because I feel I would just get used to them after a while and then be stuck paying for medication without really feeling better.

        • EO@dads.cool
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          4 months ago

          @NationProtons Firstly, many SSRIs are pretty cheap, like a few bucks for a refill of a generic, even without insurance. But they all are difficult to “titrate up.” You’ll feel pretty bad the first week or three. Then, while symptoms of depression will abate, you’ll also have somewhat less positive affect. Then when you stop, you’ll have mood swings that will fuck with your life.
          Some people find that the right SSRI or SNRI is really helpful. For me, most of them were frustrating dead ends.

  • s12@sopuli.xyz
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    4 months ago

    Often, I loop some music such that it becomes slightly annoying for me, and tell myself that I can’t turn it off until I do the task. I’ve heard of something called “Autistic Inertia”, which states that we have a lot of difficulty starting to do something, but can easily keep doing it once we started.

    Another thing I sometimes do is set micro deadlines. Eg: If I finish getting ready before 8:30, I can have a short break, otherwise I go directly to the next task which I must complete by 9:30. (Though I might adjust the time if I am running behind)

    Something I remember hearing is “Don’t wait to be motivated to do stuff, or you won’t get anything done.”

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      Thanks for the links. I feel the inertia strongly sometimes. Even when doing something I normally consider fun, I often find it difficult to stop and do something else when it starts getting less fun / boring.

  • Bigoldmustard@lemmy.zip
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    4 months ago

    Connect with the natural world. Go find some woods where there aren’t a lot of people and just be alive in them.

    Sometimes I find myself on my phone too much. I’ve found it useful to try to remember something I saw online a week ago. Frequently I cannot. This makes me upset at the time I am wasting.

    I started disc golfing again last year and I play every weekend and it’s keeping me sane. It’s like walking in the woods with a purpose. I like to go before anyone else is playing in the morning. It must work because my wife encourages it and it means her watching our toddler alone for a couple hours.

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      Great that you found something that works for you. Going outside is definitely helpful, but I also feel that that is the most difficult for me to do in such times. I hope I can turn it into more of a habit going into the future

      • Bigoldmustard@lemmy.zip
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        4 months ago

        Thanks. I understand. Maybe in the future you will be successful getting into nature or maybe you will find something that is even better for you personally. I believe you’ll find what you need.

    • zea@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      Caveat: this can potentially be dangerous. I used to go outside a lot when I felt bad, but it mostly let me stew in my bad feelings with nothing to permanently distract me from them. Now I always bring headphones to listen to music, because that’s a lot better at distracting me from the bad feelings.

      • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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        4 months ago

        I think distracting yourself from bad feelings can also be dangerous of itself when taken to extremes though. I remember using games to distract myself from bad feelings, but then I would play too much, start feeling uncomfortable, and feeling like I need to play more games. (which just made everything worse)

        Of course you should still have time to do things that make you happy. But often I found that things I thought were special interests, were more like things I do to distract myself from bad feelings instead of things I actually like.

    • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
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      4 months ago

      “Touch grass” unironically without judgment.

      Personally i find mediating outside to be incredible satisfying experience. It still takes allot to get motivated and actually do it, but i have never regretted doing so and i am more motivated to do things back inside after.

      Rather then doomscrolling i then actually continue the game or book i told myself i was gonna finish months ago.

      The key as i have found it for my person is to be at psychological balance. Cognitive zen.

      Easier said then done and i still end up wasting time scrolling most days but theres something “real” there and i haven’t found a better direction that resembles the true path of living a full life.

      Also a good idea for people like us is to delve into a nerd hobby with outside applications. Astronomy, Geology . Ecology. I am having a great time just properly identifying things in nature other then “stars, rocks and plants”

      • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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        4 months ago

        I’m pretty impressed that people can still have moments of doomscrolling and enough time to also go outside and meditate, and then still be capable of working enough to earn money to survive.

        I think going outside for a walk and meditation are both great. But they are also the first things I tend to drop when overwhelmed with work. Which of course makes it only get worse over time.

  • FollyDolly@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    This is not a healthy coping mechanism but I bribe myself with cookies like I’m a dog. If I get up and put the laundry in the dryer I get a cookie. If I send that email I get a cookie. It usually works. It won’t really make me enjoy life but it does get me through it, if you know what I mean.

    • NationProtons@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4 months ago

      I wish I had an easy way to bribe myself. I’m not really that motivated by food, so during these kind of days, I often barely eat anything. Even some meal I enjoy greatly, will just feel like a chore to eat.