I’m sure you had been in this situation. A dinner with some family friends, around a big table, maybe at home or a restaurant. Everyone’s talking about their lives, their kids, gossip, maybe certain neighbours are divorcing, cheating is everything, how expensive is everything, etc. And then your family friend, gay uncle or whatever asks you how are you doing “it’s being years since I’ve see you”
And you’re like: I’m fine thanks 😓
They ask you stuff, like when are you going to get a gf, still don’t have a job or whatever… And you awkwardly try to cut short the conversion or fake going to the bathroom… That’s me most of the time, my life is nothing, empty, I have nothing to report and I don’t wanna change just to look make better impression. I don’t wanna “evolve”.
That’s why I avoid every invitation from now. Is usually my mom with the neighbours anyways, since I don’t have friends and I don’t like them.
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The unfortunate thing about older relatives prying to get to know you when you are young, is that hardly any kid has yet had the life experience to become the interesting person their relatives want the to be. Even by college age most, myself included, can hardly offer more than “I’m fine”, “nothing particularly new going on”.
And sure as hell we know that pre-internet relatives don’t want to just hear you say “I’ve just been browsing/playing vidya/binging shows”, which is sadly the norm. So they receive safe canned responses instead.
The fix:
Take risks and go do interesting things. You don’t need anybody’s permission to start a new chapter in your life. I have accomplished things that I only wish I had done years earlier, when those curious old relatives were still alive. Don’t become like me. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
It is too late. I bet I’m even older than you.
That’s me most of the time, my life is nothing, empty, I have nothing to report and I don’t wanna change just to look make better impression. I don’t wanna “evolve”.
What do you want then? Are you happy right now? If not then you will probably have to change something or “evolve” as you said. I can’t imagine that you don’t want to be happy.
I’m not happy but I don’t wanna change. Is just complicated.
Maybe you should seek professional help then.
I won’t do that. This is me, for better and for worse.
You again?
“I don’t wanna evolve”
Well, that’s all I need to read.
Blocked
And you had the need of saying this to me because
You came looking for opinions. You opened up to this.
That means you’ll get all types.
I can relate. Even when I have things I might say, I have nothing to say because I never know what to talk about. If you ask me an open question, even one like “how are you”, if history is anything to go by, the indecision would kill the conversation. And conversations about my potential BF, my job, etc. come off like I’m less a family/community member to them, at a family gathering no less. Sometimes one would rather have someone to be silent with.
It sounds like you don’t have a lot in common with these people or like the way they interact with you. Instead of making an effort to meet you on your terms, they’re asking questions which are pretty universally considered rude. It sounds like you may be depressed and struggling right now to feel enthused about life / or feel comfortable socializing, which is fine. But I probably wouldn’t want to talk to these people either. I promise you that people you will actually like being around are out there. If you feel ok with your life as it is right now, then you’re in the right place for you. If how you feel changes, then you’re the one who gets to decide whether to change any aspects of your life or not. When I was younger and in similar situations myself, the solution was to limit time around them. My life started to feel a LOT less “empty” once I got away from people who were devaluing the nontraditional but still worthwhile and fulfilling parts of it. Some people only see job title and relationship status.
I guess you are not from Latin America. Those are the standard questions during dinner, everyone ask that shit. You’re right though, I’m not like them. I don’t give a shit about their lives, hell, I don’t care about my family’s life. Why should I care about a family member I see twice X year?
No, I’m not. But my family and their acquaintances asked everyone these things too, and it was just a passive aggressive way to judge peoples’ life choices and sometimes outright imply they were making the wrong ones by being single/queer/disabled/different/whatever. I have no idea why it’s considered socially acceptable anywhere lol. Sorry you’re dealing with this
Don’t be, thanks
Start doing or searching something you enjoy. If i‘m around people i respect and like, i also talk about what i enjoy because sharing joy is nice.
That’s not true at all for me. The whole “sharing what you like is nice”
Haven’t spammed lies enough I see?
Maybe you should evolve.
Lies? Piss off
