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Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: January 9th, 2024

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  • I agree with your point, especially “Educated feminists know that poor mental health for men only hurt their situation,” but it’s really frustrating to be told “This isn’t real feminism” when the harm misandrists do is very real. It feels like there’s a double standard - when men talk about the problems misguided or undereducated feminists cause, they’re told to be specific in their language and not to generalize. In the same breath, people who at minimum appropriate the feminist banner do a lot of generalization about men. You see it all over this site and in pop feminist circles, and being told “Well you can’t criticize feminism just because some people do it badly” leads to a lot of resentment.

    It also doesn’t feel fair to say “Well they were being vague”. A lot of the harm perpetuated by patriarchy, misandry and other elements in society is amorphous. A lot of people don’t have an acute moment of pain - they internalize things over time, or have lots of small incidents. Getting hurt and being told to man up, being told that men don’t belong in queer spaces, or that all men are pigs.









  • I live with an adult with a similar neurotype. My experience is that the advice in this thread can all help, especially regarding “Is there anything I can do to make this more comfortable for you?” and “This is important because…” stuff. But once the PDA gets really ingrained against something, there’s just nothing I can do. I just have to leave her to it and hope she comes around. As an adult, she is capable of making her own decisions…but I have no idea what to do when the person involved is a kid that might not really understand long-term repercussions. I know that the times when her parents really put their foot down ended up extremely exacerbating the PDA and ultimately led to her ability to exercise her autonomy being extremely damaged. But they also weren’t…uh…empathetic about it (lots of screaming and shouting), so I don’t know if putting their foot down was the problem, the verbal abuse, or both.

    Sorry for the mild ramble with no real advice, just saying I commiserate. It’s really fucking hard to live with an adult with that neurotype, I can’t imagine trying to care for a child. I wish you luck.